Hot and Hard: Abs: 6×6

De La Soul taught us that 3 is The Magic Number, and far be it from me to contradict that, but for an old abs fan like me, 3 just won’t cut it (get it?). I need 6. At least!

And thankfully, there are more than a few wonderful women out there who agree, and who absolutely will not stop until they have achieved that perfect number.

Today, FMS brings you just 6 of those many wonderful women.

ANDREA CALHOUN

And we start today’s look at some of the most perfect abs you’ll ever see with the perfect abs of Texan Figure pro Andrea Calhoun. Hard to believe that a little over seven years ago her weight problems had become so bad they had brought on a depression. All I ate was fried food, McDonalds, and my favorite Shipley donuts, she says. I was obese. Her journey to perfect abs began when she walked into a gym and got a personal trainer, and took her to Las Vegas and her first Olympia this year.

Andrea has her own website, and you can follow her on Facebook

KRISTYN KELLI

Meet Kristyn Kelli, two times MABBA Figure champion. That’s right, MABBA. It’s not a typo, it’s the Manitoba Amateur Bodybuilding Association. She’s from Winnipeg, you see, and Winnipeg, it turns out, is in Manitoba (I guess Canadian readers and readers with a better grasp of Canadian geography than I already knew that but I’m assuming some of you didn’t). She will be defending her provincial title on May 23rd 2015 if you’re in Manitoba and want to see Kristyn and her perfect abs in action.

She’s on Instagram and Facebook

JILL DUNN

As far as I know, this is a REAL picture. This kind of abdominal perfection is, it seems, actually attainable. Such low body fat and this kind of definition is really achievable. Such bounteous ridges of perfect muscle are possible. But don’t ask me how.
Ask the owner of this jaw-dropping, groin-activating midsection. Ask Jill Dunn.

Jill Dunn IFBB Figure Pro: website, Facebook, Instagram

MARCIA FEIJO

If you were waiting for a Brazilian, your wait is over. Say Bom dia to Marcia Feijo and her perfect abs (not to mention the pretty much perfect rest of her). Like most of the women today, Marcia is a Figure competitor, which is making me wonder whether Figure competitors packing this much ripped muscle is a relatively new phenomenon or whether I just haven’t paid enough attention to the division before now. And Marcia is still an amateur, would you believe? I’ll say it again: that body you are looking at is the body of an AMATEUR FIGURE competitor. Marcia is a P.E. (Gym) teacher by day. I bet very very few boys (or girls for that matter) skip Ms Feijo’s classes.

The teacher is on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube

GRACIELLA CARVALHO

And we stay in Brazil (why leave?) with Graciella Siqueira de Carvalho (to give her her full name), a businesswoman and fitness model who, in 2011, was runner-up in the inaugural Miss Bumbum Brazil (called by some The Greatest Pageant of All Time).

Shhhh! she seems to be saying. Shut your mouth and start worshipping me!

For more, check her website and Instagram

VALERIE GARCIA

And last, but certainly not least, heartfelt congratulations to FMS fave Valerie Garcia Giovanoli, who was awarded her pro card after finishing 2nd in her Physique class at last month’s NPC Nationals. [My abs have] more nooks and crannies than an English muffin, she captioned the above photo on her Instagram one day before the contest.

Once she’d had the pro tan and the oil smeared all over them like, well, like butter on a hot crumpet (as we call those ‘English muffins’), they looked even better. And now we’ve had the ‘Before’ and the ‘During’, let’s finish with the ‘After’ – Valerie showing off (and still unable to take her eyes off) that sexy (and still utterly shredded) midriff of hers during a post-contest photo shoot for her sponsor, the one and only Hardfitness.

Enjoy!

Hot and Hard

First up, I’d like to thank all you lovely readers for continuing to support and visit the blog while we were away. It’s extremely gratifying (though perhaps ever so slightly worrying) that FMS has continued to receive so many visitors from all over the world while posting absolutely nothing new at all. THANK YOU!

Obviously we wanted to return and wow you, to come back with a bang as it were. But the problem with being on a break for so long is that as time passes it becomes harder and harder to begin again! After much discussion, the always popular Hot and Hard theme was decided upon, which just left us to make a selection from the many many wonderful images in the FMS “Hot and Hard” folder…

Being as she is very very hot and (in the picture below left for example) unbelievably hard, Jacklyn Abrams certainly had her champions around the FMS editorial table. Readers may recognise “Jack the Ripped” – the name she goes by on her website, Instagram and Facebook – from this year’s Ms O, where she came in 12th in the Physique division (looking, yes, you guessed it) both very hot and very hard.

Some felt that these days “Hot and Hard” was best defined by Crossfitters doing what they do – as in the stunning demonstration of balance, flexibility and controlled muscle power seen here (above right). Others associated the phrase not with an activity, but a country – Brazil. And to represent, Raira França (below) working on her Brazilian body in her (very Brazilian) gym wear received more than a few votes from the team.

For more of this beauty from Bahia, visit her Facebook page.

The so-called “universal” two-fingered salute is not quite as “universal” as some might imagine. Certainly the more upright style of the unknown muscle babe above means something quite different here in the British Isles, although the horizontal version demonstrated by Madrid’s Patricia Alamo (below left) might just about be acceptable. Still, the (surely) unintentional invitation to British readers to f*** off doesn’t detract from either the heat or hardness on show here. Mouth-watering abs on the lovely lady above, and the things we’d like to do with (or on) Patricia’s thighs…

And speaking of things we’d like to do, Katelyn “Smash” Aseltine (above right), a powerlifter, artist, writer, kinesiologist, tattoo designer and undeniable purveyor of hot hot muscle heat. I’m almost ashamed to say what those little white panties are making me dream of, but it would most certainly involve my teeth and would ultimately necessitate buying her a pack of identical ones as replacements.

Get your own filthy fantasies at Katelyn’s Instagram or Facebook – just be sure to keep them to yourself though! And when you’ve had your fill of that kind of entertainment, you might like to sober up and read an interview with her at Cut And Jacked.

Meanwhile, back at the ever stickier FMS round table [easy! – ed.], the discussion turned towards heat, hardness and attitude. As with Katelyn, Italian muscle maiden Antonella Lella Val (above, all power and pride) brings big time double-barrelled heat. And no, it isn’t a morph – unless ALL the pictures on her Instagram are!

But the round table felt that size isn’t everything and that (above) Brazilian (again!) physique star Isadora Castro‘s attitude would, perhaps, make her just as (if not more) hot than the considerably bigger Antonella. And, of course, she is Brazilian.

But it doesn’t always take a big hard flex to melt the screen. Some uber muscle babes need only their thumbs and a six-pack that could make you go blind. See (MAJOR Swell crush) Sheronica Henton (above). The hot hard heat seems effortless (in terms of what she’s doing for the camera, I’m not suggesting for a moment a Vesuvial body like Sheronica’s is effortless). Some women, as we all know, just have “it”. And then there are other women, e.g. the sizzling Sheronica, who have “it” in spades.

So, our reporter asked Megan Olson (above), what does a smoking hot figure pro like yourself do when you get home after a good hard workout?

Well, she replied, I like to put on the second tiniest bikini I have and just look at myself in the mirror, admire the muscle, the veins on my abs, that kind of thing. And then I take a selfie or two and upload it to my Instagram so others can admire me too, you know, the results of all my hard work, the veins on my abs and so on.

I’m sorry, said our reporter, you did say the second tiniest bikini you have. I mean, what about your tiniest bikini? When do you get that one out?

Well obviously I’d much rather be showing off in that one, of course I would. But the thing is, she smiled, it’s so damn tiny I can’t usually find it…

FMS fave Maria Kuzmina (below left) made a late entry to the discussion with her new Facebook profile pic. A former two-time NABBA Ms Universe, Maria spent 2013 trying unsuccessfully to win her IFBB pro card as a Physique competitor. This year she has been losing muscle mass on purpose in order to compete in the Bodyfitness division, and finished in the top 3 at the recent Russian Championships. I thought I was already so tiny, she wrote, but no, I need to shrink further. Not the best news we’ve ever heard, but though the IFBB judges don’t ever seem to be satisfied with Maria’s package, we think she’s (still) spot on for our “Hot and Hard” division.

And we finish off today with two women that everyone involved in the, er, selection process for this post agreed upon, two women that you could say almost define what we mean when we talk about “Hot and Hard”. Above right, IFBB Physique pro Asha Hadley says I walk the line between beauty and beast. Now, this is not a line that FMS acknowledges because for me the whole beauty is in the beast, but if walking that imaginary line means Asha continues to refine a look like this, then it’s all good.

And I can only imagine that two-time Brazilian (here we go again) champ and IFBB Figure pro Janaina Ferreira (below) has quite breathtaking mental powers, because her own motto is Mens sana in corpore sano (A strong body makes a strong mind). And maybe, after all the discussion, the stickiness… the attempt to find a definition of “Hot and Hard”, what it is really about is not just the magnificent bodies, but what these hot hard bodies reveal about the strength of these amazing women’s minds…

It’s good to be back. Welcome to Hot and Hard Week!

Enjoy!

August Picture Post: Beauty of the Day

KARINA NASCIMENTO

Words fail me.

Enjoy!

Abs: 6×6

De La Soul taught us that 3 is The Magic Number, and far be it from me to contradict that, but for an old abs fan like me, 3 just won’t cut it (get it?). I need 6. At least!

And thankfully, there are more than a few wonderful women out there who agree, and who absolutely will not stop until they have achieved that perfect number.

Today, FMS brings you just 6 of those many wonderful women.

Chelsea Hagan

She’s a big big fan of Ryan Gosling, she’s an NPC physique bombshell, and she’s known as “Hulk Hagan”. She was #96 in the FMS Hot and Hard 100, and in August 2011, Chelsea was Social Paintball’s “Paintmate of the Month”. Check it out here.

She says her biggest inspiration is Larissa Reis, and she claims to have a fun and spunky charisma. Believe! Wouldn’t mind getting fun and spunky with her, if you know what I mean [oh, I think I can see where this post is heading. – ed.]

Follow Chelsea on Facebook and Instagram.

Katie Bartlett Davis

Are these the best looking abs ever? Well, according to one muscle website, physique pro Katie Bartlett Davis is definitely in the top two. She has the best low body fat result which you can achieve, claims the author. Whether you agree or not, you have to admit it’s not surprising she’s gazing at her abs with such a look of love.

More of Katie and Katie’s abs here.

“Renata”

Renata who? you are probably asking, and so are we. Hopefully one of you lovely readers will be able to help, because it would be a damn shame if this kind of skin and muscle abdominal perfection were to remain unidentified. Really. Left-hand picture. Follow the cut away from her belly button towards your right. When it forks, take the left (ie. upwards) path. See that cut there? How sexy is that?!

Please. Help!

Tali Coelho

As featured on the mighty PumpItUp, and the hottest thing in Curitiba, Brazil (and that’s probably saying something), Tali Coehlo is a bodyfitness competitor with the kind of midriff that makes you want to remortgage your house and blow the lot on a one-way ticket to, well, in this case, Curitiba, Brazil, “eu quero adorar o seu sexy abs” the only phrase in the book you have bothered or are going to bother learning.

Adore at your leisure on Tali’s Instagram and/or Facebook.

Ida Bergforth

Yet another Swedish muscle goddess (and yes, I know she’s “only” bodyfitness, but “bodyfitness goddess” hardly has the same ring, does it?). Check out the veinzzz on pre-contest Ida two days out from her first show, Tammerpokalen 2014. She took second place, describing it as one of the absolute best moments in my life! on her Instagram.

Suan Garcia

Great ridges of muscle, covered only with a fine layer of skin, cuts so deep you could lose your keys in them, and a penchant for showing her sexy muscle midriff off, Suan Garcia‘s Puerto Rican abs are to die for. I can almost feel the life force leaving me…

Plenty of Suan here.

Enjoy!

Brazil Rules the Worlds

No, not another post about the World Cup (funnily enough I don’t want to talk about that anymore!), but news and tubes from the 2014 NABBA Worlds, which was held in Belfast on 7th June, and where Brazilians triumphed in all three of the women’s classes.

In Toned Figure (roughly the NABBA equivalent of NPC Figure) there were two Brazilians in the top 6, including the winner, Caroline Crozeta.

In 31 World Championships with the Toned Figure category, the only Brazilians to win the world title have been the beautiful Maite Bueno and… Carol Crozeta! she wrote on her Facebook page, proudly displaying her trophy. I’m the second athlete from Brazil to bring the trophy to us!!! And this was her first international contest, too.

If you are feeling generous and loaded, or know someone who is, Carol is currently looking for sponsorship so she can compete at the NABBA Universe in October.

In the taller of the two Trained Figure (equivalent Physique) classes, Brazilians made up three of the top four finishers. 2013 NABBA Miss Universe Carol Bittencourt finished 4th on this occasion, with Tereza Augusta in 3rd place.

It was the less experienced Regiane Moreira who won the class, despite (or perhaps because of) the technical problem during her individual routine…

And in the shorter Trained Figure class, it was a 1-2-3 for the Brazilians.

In 3rd, the very beautiful Cinara Polido, an FMS favourite from last year’s NABBA Universe, when, you may recall, we were utterly hypnotised by her twitching glutes.

No involuntary muscle contractions this time, but we’re hypnotised nonetheless…

Check out Cinara’s incredible transformation on her website.

For my money the most ripped woman in the entire show, Brazilian NABBA royalty Dora Rodrigues rolled her abs and flexed her wonderfully striated legs and bum into second place in the class wearing a posing suit in the Brazilian national colours…

Now 33, Dora has been training (for the love of it, never forget the first A in NABBA is for “Amateur”) for 19 years. She was crowned Overall NABBA Miss World as long ago as 2008, and won the Overall Miss Universe title the following year.

Check out Dora’s website and Instagram for more.

And it was Auren Malvestiti, last year’s NABBA Universe runner-up, who won both the shorter Trained Figure class and took home the title of Overall NABBA Miss World.

After her victory thanked her followers on Facebook: Guys!!! I’m bit by bit writing and thanking everyone who wrote to me and cheered for me! Every word, every strength, every gesture of encouragement from you took me to the highest place on the podium! What’s worse is that I cry a little bit every message I read… it’s kind of funny! Though I’m away, I feel embraced and welcomed with every message I get. Thank you from my heart. Brazil! I’m coming back with the title for my beloved country!

The new Miss World is also on Instagram.

Enjoy!

And there will be more from the NABBA Worlds later in the week…

O Início da Copa do Mundo

It’s that time again. World Cup time!!! And as the tournament hosts are Brazil, FMS decided it would be churlish of us to ignore that fact. After all, it’s Brazil! And as regular readers will know, we don’t need much of an excuse to crack open the sexy Brazilian muscle babe folder, nor the sexy muscle babes in Brazilian colours folder!

And we were delighted to find that we were not the only female muscle site jumping on the football bandwagon. The Muscle Appeal‘s recent preview, Soccer Muscle Girls, brings us Jessica Bowman, Tonia Moore, Michele Elizabeth and (be still my beating heart) Jill Rudison flexing their sexy muscles in England shirts.

The point is, The Muscle Appeal claim, to show how hot muscle girls look in a footy kit (soccer jersey). Mission accomplished then, because hot is what they look for sure.

And, yes, this clip totally makes me wish I had a bunch of sexy muscle babes in footy shirts images, but sadly I don’t. Now, if anybody at The Muscle Appeal (which is an absolutely GOLD female muscle site by the way, you should join this minute) would like to donate a few of them in order to remedy that gaping hole in my collection, I’d be forever grateful, but pending such an act of generosity, FMS will just have to find another way to commemorate the big kick-off through the medium of female muscle.

One option that we considered was an illustration of the group stage draw using a female bodybuilder from each of the thirty-two qualifiers as representatives of their countries. England’s group, for example, would look something like this…

GROUP D
Uruguay, Laura Carrara; Costa Rica, Cindy Garcia-Lister


England, Lisa Cross; Italy, Mavi Gioia

I’ve always thought that football, for all its problems, is a force for good on a global scale, and if football is what it takes for FMS to mention a female bodybuilder from Costa Rica (living in the UK!), or a female bodybuilder from Uruguay for that matter, then that’s just one more instance of the game of football working its magic!

Similarly, anything that gives me a reason to put Virginia Sanchez, Juliette Bergmann, Geraldine Morgan and Bev Francis side by side in the same post has just got to be a good thing, wouldn’t you agree? And as chance would have it, that’s just what the group containing current World Cup holders Spain does!

GROUP B
Spain, The Netherlands, Chile, Australia

Quite honestly, I really would have liked to run with this, but finding female muscle from some of the countries did prove time-consuming at best, and futile at worst.

So, in the end, and in time-honoured FMS tradition, we decided that we should just give you more of what we know you like. The World Cup is being hosted by Brazil, and there are 11 players in a team. What about a Brazil Female Muscle XI? What about a Brazil Female Muscle XI consisting of the top eleven Brazilians you lovely lovely readers voted for earlier this year in The Hot and Hard 100 poll?

Picture yourself carrying towels for this team…

DENISE RODRIGUES (Goalkeeper)

Manage to get past the defence, and goalie Denise has the kind of body that the sight of would make just about any striker scuff his shot in a one-on-one situation.

ANNE FREITAS, SELMA LABAT (Centre-halves)

Fancy being woman-marked by either of these muscle goddesses? Considerably shorter than traditional centre-halves, what Anne and Selma lack in that department, they more than make up for with their power. And those mighty thighs of theirs ensure that when they clear the ball from their own penalty area, it stays cleared.

BELLA FALCONI (Right Wing-back), ANDREIA BRAZIER (Left Wing-back)

This may be an imaginary football team of female bodybuilders, but that’s no reason not to stick with the Brazilian attacking wing-back tradition. Bella and Andreia possess boundless energy. They can run all day, and, playing or not, frequently do.

GRACYANNE BARBOSA (Holding Midfielder)

Shielding the defence and initiating attacks is very much like leading the carnaval, according to Gracyanne. You are the first line, and the rhythm of the team follows your lead. Unsurprising then that this samba queen has made this position her own.

KARINA NASCIMENTO, ANDRESSA VIEIRA (Central Midfield)

The blend of experience and youth in this midfield duo makes them a formidable pairing. Karina, once famed for her late runs into the box, plays a more circumspect game these days, but can still split a defence with a well-directed and perfectly-weighted pass. This enables her more youthful teammate to lend support to the strikers with much more conviction. Andressa galloping forwards, with or without the ball, is one of the great sights in the world of imaginary female muscle football.

JULIANA MALACARNE (Attacking Midfield, Captain)

One of the all-time greats, and the undisputed leader of the team, both on and off the field. Juliana’s performances can be so good they can cause whole stadiums to be upstanding. And, more than ten years after she began her competitive career, she remains the poster girl of the sport for female muscle footy fans the world over.

LOANA MUTTONI, LARISSA REIS (Strikers)

This partnership, known as “Lo-La”, have busted more nets than I’ve had hot dinners, and a defensive strategy that can keep them out has yet to be developed. It’s almost as if they can score at will. Like that song. “Whatever Lo-La wants… Lo-La gets…”

Brazil’s opening match, tonight at 9 (UK time) is against Branka Njegovec‘s Croatia.

Enjoy! And Come on England!!!

The Queen of New York

The first time the Women’s Physique Division appeared at the New York Pro show back in 2012, the title was won by Brazil’s Juliana Malacarne. A year later, at the same show, Juliana triumphed again. And last weekend, (yes, you guessed it) for the third year in a row, Juliana was crowned the Physique Queen of New York.

It was also her second win of the year, or more accurately, her second win of the month. She had also triumphed at the Europa Pro show in Dallas at the start of May. Apart from that and her NYC treble, she has only stepped onto the stage as a physique competitor and not won once, at last year’s Olympia, where she finished 7th.

Juliana Christina Malacarne was born in São Paulo, Brazil. Growing up, she – like so many men and women of her generation – first got into muscle because of a certain Mr Schwarzenneger (say what you like about his politics, acting skills, attitude towards female bodybuilders, or indeed his attitude to women in general, but without Arnold, there’d be a lot less female muscle in the world). More specifically, it was watching Conan the Barbarian that first piqued her interest in pumping iron.

That interest grew and grew, and subsequently she found more feminine inspiration from 90s fitness champ Monica Brant (who is still competing by the way, she’s the reigning WBFF Pro Figure World Champion). Juliana started competing sometime before 2002, but took a break to complete her degree. By 2005 she was back, winning her class (short) in the Figure division at the South American Championships.

What followed was a largely unremarkable career as a figure competitor. A 7th place at the Palm Beach Pro in 2006 and a 4th place in the Master’s class at the Atlantic City Pro in 2008 were the only real “highlights” I could find on her figure CV. Her experience in New York in the pre-physique era consisted of a 13th place in 2008, a 10th place in 2009, and no placing at all in 2010. What a contrast with the last three years!

Her poor record in figure competition didn’t stop her fame spreading, for pretty obvious reasons, within the female muscle lovin’ community, but since the advent of the Physique division, she has risen to full-on goddess status. In our inaugural Hot and Hard 100 poll earlier in the year, Juliana finished top Brazilian (above Reis, Brazier, Vieira et al) and 4th overall. On the forum whose first rule is you do not talk about the forum, she beat Mavi Gioia to be voted Physique Goddess of the Year in 2013.

Yet this is a woman who we actually know very little about. For example, I can’t, despite a fair bit of effort trying to find out, say with any great certainty how old she is. She has a family, a husband, a child or children, and is still based in Brazil, I think. Or possibly Florida. Or perhaps it’s both! Juliana, you see, is a woman who keeps her private life cards close to her mightily impressive chest. She does Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook. Loads of great pics, but none of them give very much away.

But I don’t need to know all the ins and outs of Juliana’s life to appreciate her, and I doubt you do, dear reader. Look at her on stage last weekend, the Queen of New York again. It should be obvious to all that Juliana Malacarne is pure class.

Congratulations to Juliana and bom divertimento to you all!

On the Beach…

…with Karina

She emerges from the surf like Ursula Andress in Dr. No…

…except she’s packed with muscle, and much MUCH sexier!

Karina Nascimento‘s You Tube channel

Enjoy!

On the Beach…

…with Priscila and Lisa

Priscila Collins

Yet another beautiful Brazilian body on the beach, you can follow Priscila (one ‘l’ is, apparently the correct spelling) on her Twitter or her Instagram, although she is somewhat less muscular now, and there’s been some facial surgery, which is a shame, I think, because in these shots it’s hard to see what wasn’t perfect about her.

Lisa Carrodus

Stunning natural beauty. And some cracking scenery too. Follow Lisa on Twitter and you’ll not only get news of what she’s up to, but also of the UK wrestling scene. Bonus!

Enjoy!

On the Beach…

…with their coconuts!

Claudete Santana

Claudete likes her milk fresh from the tree. It’s the only way to take it, she told FMS as she sucked up the protein rich juice while strutting up and down the beach. The sight of her tight muscular Brazilian body in that teeny weeny bikini meant the paramedics were kept busy that day, not least attempting to resuscitate our own correspondent.

Denise Masino

Denise, who turned 46 on 1st May, prefers to break coconuts on her granite bicep peaks before gorging herself on the bounty of sweet flesh within. Did you know the coconut’s edible flesh is called the ‘endosperm’? she asks. Well, Denise, we do now.

Enjoy!