À la recherche du chaude et dure perdu: Michelle Andrea

REMEMBRANCE OF HOT AND HARD PAST

6. Come Sail Away

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I was never much one for keeping a diary, but if I had been when I first came across the subject of today’s post, I may have been moved to write something like this…

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New plan. Make a lot of money (banking? arms dealer?) Buy yacht. BIG yacht. Berth yacht hot place in US (Florida?) Meet Michelle Andrea (or sim.). Invite MA onto yacht. She sunbathes topless, nude. Sail into sunset, happily ever after etc.

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Yes, once upon a time, all I wanted, all I would ever want, was a big yacht and Michelle Andrea. I very much doubt I was alone. Often mentioned in ‘Most Beautiful of All Time’ discussions, Michelle still looks about 200bn better than any woman her age has a right to – see for yourself on her Facebook or Twitter. And, best of all, you can tell her all about your own ‘Me-You-Yacht’ fantasies on HerBicepsCam.

After a quick bit of mental arithmetic, I reckon if I sell up, even after solicitor’s fees and paying off the wife… I might just have enough for that great big yacht…

HANG ON MICHELLE! I’M COMING!!!

Cunningly I distract you from doing the same with 1991 Michelle…

Enjoy!

TWO HOT and HARD VOTING DAYS LEFT!

Inspiration, rules and how to vote here.

Spot Virginia Competition

This month’s winner reaches out and touches Virginia’s lats…

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It could be you. Really. For your chance to feel Virginia up while she works, complete the following sentence in 100 words or less and send it with your name and location to spotvsmcontest@femalemuscledreamscometrue.com

I would like to be Virginia’s spotter because…

Winners will be notified by 25th February and must be available to claim their prize in person in Madrid between the 2nd and 29th March. Open to over 18s only.

Good luck!

Swell Digs: The Return of Ozzy Female Muscle

I really wanted to push some limits, in my drawing, in my fantasies…

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Having given us just two posts in the last two years, French female muscle blogger and friend of FMS Ozzy Female Muscle has started 2015 in a prolific mood. If things don’t change, I will be able to post more. I really hope so! he tells us. So do we.

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In fact, Ozzy’s not just in the midst of (for him, anyway) a veritable posting frenzy, he’s also thinking about taking commissions and doing comics, and appealing for advice on both counts. He’s also looking for someone to colour his sketches, and someone else to save him the time-consuming job of translating from his native French into English.

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Why not get in touch if you can help him with any of those things?

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Keep pushing those limits, Ozzy. It’s good to have you back!

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Ozzy Female Muscle

Enjoy!

Women of the Year

Our first six back in 2011 were Kashma Maharaj, Fabiola Boulanger, Ginger Martin, Cindy Landolt, Penpraghai Tiangngok and Katka Kyptova.

In 2012, our choices were Sarah Hayes, Holland Canter, Helle Nielsen,
Andrea Brazier, Gillian Kovack and Tarna Alderman.

And last year the FMS team selected Shannon Courtney, Sophie Arvebrink, Shawna Pierce, Suzy Kellner, Georgina McConnell and Alina Popa.

We originally plumped for six in 2011 because it’s (traditionally) the number of women who get to posedown at the end of a contest, and we’ve stuck with that number ever since. They are in no particular order, and are selected utterly subjectively by us. We make no claims that they are “the biggest”, “the best” or anything like that – these remarkable women are simply our favourites of the last 12 months.

Welcome to Female Muscle Slave’s Women of the Year 2014.

Aleesha Young: Better Than Fantasy

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Last month, the genius that is Area Orion brought us Bodybuilding Barbie. [She] is your dream girl come to life, the copy tells us. And funnily enough, one of the very first comments I read about Bodybuilding Barbie was this: She looks like Aleesha Young.

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Aleesha (no surname necessary), a female muscle fantasy made flesh. A huge, muscle-curvy physique and huge you-know-whats. Ridiculously huge, some would say dismissively. Cartoonish even. But while it’s true she may not be every female muscle fan’s idea of a dream girl, there are plenty who would argue that those enhancements compliment her voluptuous muscularity to perfection. Aleesha is nothing short of amazing… the hottest, the strongest, the goddess of female bodybuilding, say the forum posters. [She is} sexier than anyone that’s ever won Ms Olympia… a perfect combination of size, strength and sexuality. Yes, there are plenty to whom Aleesha really is the living embodiment of their ultimate female muscle fantasy.

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And it’s not just what Aleesha looks like, but also what she does with all that incredible muscle that brings her so much love, her skills making her probably the most “giffed” female bodybuilder ever – her jaw-dropping pec bounce in particular. FMS can exclusively report that studies undertaken by Femuscle Stat International (an organisation set up and funded by our old friend Professor Philpott Pennypacker) reveal that Aleesha has the pec bounce with the greatest vertical lift of all.

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More seriously, and though we are by no means immune to Aleesha’s obvious charms, if we only thought of her as the pec-bouncing fantasy, we could have put her on any of our previous Women of the Year lists. This year, however, we couldn’t possibly have compiled one without Aleesha. In 2014, she returned to competition after a three-year break, looking to improve on her poor record at national-level contests. She had always had, in the words of Steve Wennerstrom, a gifted genetic structure and muscle shapes that even a casual observer could see was carrying scary potential. What was missing was the conditioning. But that changed at the NPC USAs in Las Vegas in July. The Heavyweight and Overall titles and the pro card were hers from the moment she walked on. She didn’t win. She owned the show. Completely.

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What caused this massive improvement in her conditioning? Well, given that so much about Aleesha is unnatural – whether genetically or cosmetically so – it’s perhaps good to hear that what did it was cardio, that most traditional means of stripping the bodyfat and revealing the muscle. Then again, doing two and a half hours of it seven days a week throughout her contest prep perhaps isn’t so much traditional as super-human. But now she’s nailed it once, why shouldn’t she nail it again and again and again? She’s now a pro, and at 29 a relatively young pro, who has so many genetic gifts and the will to do two and a half hours of cardio a day to bring those gifts to the fore… Truly the mind boggles at the female muscle fantasy Aleesha might yet become.

Juliana Malacarne: Campeã

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She was the star (male or female) of the Olympia this year. Commentators marvelled at her “flawless symmetry and balance”, and her “pleasing muscle shapes in every bodypart”. She was “full, balanced, and perfectly conditioned” and her showdown with 2013 champ Dana Linn Bailey was much-anticipated. With the result in doubt to the very end, it was also genuinely exciting. Close, but the right woman won. As one report put it, “Even the most diehard DLB fans had to admit that Malacarne was the right choice for first place.” Seven years ago I came to the USA with $3,000, a pro card, and a dream. Today, that dream came true, said an emotional post-win Juliana.

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Images of Juliana’s triumph are among the most memorable not just of the Olympia, but of the whole year, a selection of which we have here, above and below.

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She was deemed too muscular to be a Figure competitor, her low-point probably came at the 2006 Sacramento Pro when she finished tied in 20th. As recently as 2010 (her last in Figure) she was placing 16th at the New York Pro. The years she spent in the Figure division after turning pro tested her resilience and perseverance beyond the tolerance of the average competitor, says Steve Wennerstrom. Then again, he adds, Juliana Malacarne is not your average athlete. A lesser competitor would have drifted away from the competitive stage. Not Malacarne. How times (and fortune) have changed for Juliana! Since Physique was introduced in 2012, she has only failed to win one contest she has entered. And this year, as well as the Olympia title, she won the Europa Pro show in Dallas and – for the 3rd consecutive year – the New York Pro.

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So, given her contest record in 2014, we thought we should go beyond the more common adjectives Juliana’s admirers use on the general bodybuilding and femuscle fan forums, as well as on Juliana’s Instagram/Twitter etc. Of course we agree that she’s ‘beautiful’, ‘sexy’, ‘amazing’, ‘perfect’, ‘classy’. All good words, but we’d suggest the best description of Juliana in 2014 would be ‘champion’, or as she might say, campeã.

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And though her dream has come true, Juliana is by no means finished. She is already in preparation for the first ever Women’s Physique contest at the Arnold Classic next March, and you wouldn’t bet against her. In a division packed with beautiful muscular women, Juliana Malacarne is now the muscle beauty to beat.

FMS Loves Lisa Cross

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You really haven’t been paying attention if you’re a regular reader and you’re in any doubt about how FMS feels about the National Treasure that is Lisa Cross. We got so excited last year when Lisa returned to competition that we devoted a whole week to the divine Ms Cross, and consequently we were utterly incredulous when you voted her as only the 35th hottest hard woman on the planet in February. 35th?!

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We’ve waxed lyrical about Lisa in the past, then. So what more can we add? Well, with the vast majority of magnificent women we have written about, no doubt we’d be lost for new words. But not with this endlessly fascinating woman. Not with Lisa.

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We’ve already talked about that lush body of hers. We’ve told you about her journey from anorexic to muscle goddess, of her contest highs and lows, and of Lisa the purveyor of Hot Muscle Packed Raw Power. We’ve also, hopefully, given readers an insight into Lisa’s mind. It’s a mind that is fluent in Russian, French and Japanese as well as in her mother tongue. It’s a mind broadened by travel and higher education. It’s the mind of an author, a businesswoman, a sexual mind, a creative mind. And, we might humbly add, Lisa revealed this year that it’s a mind into whose consciousness our little blog has entered. *SWOON* The mind of a truly liberated woman.

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In 2014, Lisa has published her first book, gained her pro card, continued to purvey her Hot Muscle Packed Raw Power, competed in her first pro show, continued to travel the world, and, most recently, finished constructing a new gym cum studio on her property in order to take her fans (and herself) to new levels of interactive delight.

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Albert Camus, who, like Lisa, combined both literary and sporting achievements, once said that The only way to deal with an unfree world is to become so absolutely free that your very existence is an act of rebellion. I’d like to think Lisa would agree it is an apt description of her approach to life, and it also serves to pretty much summarise what FMS most admires about her. And the fact that Lisa could read Camus in the original French, well, I’m not ashamed to confess to you that that thought turns me on about as much one of her members’ clips does, and even more so if she were reading it personally to me, in the original French, all bronzed, naked, oiled, and flexing…

Camille Leblanc-Bazinet: The Queen (and Face) of Crossfit

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For the first time, a non-bodybuilder is one of our Women of the Year, so those who think I am breaking some kind of unwritten code by including a Crossfitter should probably just scroll on. She is Canada’s Camille Leblanc-Bazinet, and this year she earned the right to call herself “The Fittest Woman on Earth” at the CrossFit Games.

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Actually, Camille didn’t so much win the CrossFit Games as dominate it from qualifying to finish. She had been the number 1 ranked athlete after the open, and went on to win, again, in number 1 ranked style, the Canada East Regional. At the Games, despite a late rally by Iceland’s Annie Thorisdottir, the result was never really in doubt.

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As one commentator has noted, There aren’t many of either gender who could even survive the CrossFit Games, never mind excel, so for Camille to be its champion would be reason enough to include her on our list. However, more than her triumph, it’s the effect of Camille’s success on the women of the world that makes her so important.

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The seemingly inexorable rise of CrossFit continues, and, for those of us who dream of a world with more female muscle in it, that can only be a good thing. Whether we FBB fans like it or not, CrossFitters really do inspire the women that bodybuilders don’t reach, and Camille is inspiring many many more than her peers. In the words of CrossFit magazine The Box, she is the Face of Fitness — an athlete with stunning looks and elite-level status. And even before her victory at the Games this year, The Box were advising CrossFit affiliates that all they needed to do to seal the deal with potential female members was to put up posters of Camille all over their gyms.

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It’s understandable advice. Who wouldn’t want to look like Camille? She may only be one of many many factors turning women off the skinny ideal and encouraging them to lift weights and get strong, but it’s undeniable that she is a very very important one.

The Talented Ms Ripped: Alana Shipp

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I’d like to be able to say that the catchy moniker above is my own invention, but in truth it comes from an article in The Times of Israel that was published just over two years ago. At the time, Jerusalem-resident Alana was being congratulated on her 3rd place finish at the NAC Universe in the Ms Physique (ie. bodybuilding) category. At the time, “The Talented Ms Ripped” had only been training for a year and a half, and her only previous contest experience had been her win in the Ms Fitness category at the NAC Ms Israel earlier in 2012. At the time she said, I am so overwhelmed by the success I’ve achieved in bodybuilding in such a short amount of time.

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Imagine how she feels now. 2013 saw her win Lightweight and Overall titles at the NPC New York Metropolitan, then she went on to win the Middleweight class at the NPC USAs. A new pro for 2014, she finished 2nd in her first contest (the IFBB Toronto Pro), 5th in her second (Omaha, the following week). With two of the four qualifying events still to go, Alana had already qualified for the Ms Olympia, and there, in perhaps what is her most impressive achievement so far, she finished 4th on her Olympia debut.

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To put Alana’s year in a little context, of this year’s Ms Olympia top 6, only Debi Laszewski (3rd in 2009), and Iris Kyle (in 1999) can better or match Shipp’s debut placing. Of her fellow pro card winners in 2013 (at the NPC Nationals/USAs etc.), only FMS fave Margie Martin (6th in Toronto, 2nd in Omaha, 10th at the Olympia) has enjoyed a debut season worthy of mention in the same paragraph as Alana’s.

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And it’s even more amazing when you consider that Alana had no sporting background whatsoever. I’ve never been very athletic, she says. In fact, I’ve always been awkward when it comes to sports. After having her two children, she entered her 30s overweight and, in her own words, “frustrated” at her own appearance. She decided to do something about it and took up weight training. I developed a love for the gym, she says. It felt like a home away from home. I began developing my body way beyond my expectations: the better I looked, the better I wanted to look.

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From being overweight and working out for the first time to the Ms Olympia in three and a half years. From Ms Fitness Israel to the first callout at the Ms Olympia in two. No doubt she hasn’t had time to reflect on what she accomplished yet, noted Steve Wennerstrom immediately after the event, but it’s pretty heavy stuff in this day and age of long journeys to the Olympia by way of women’s bodybuilding.

Danielle Reardon: Monstar, Inc.

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At the St. Louis Pro show, Danielle Reardon‘s first show this year, Tanya Hyde grabbed her for a pre-contest interview at the end of which, Tanya invites the beautiful and beautifully-tanned Dani to show her (and us) what she’s shortly going to be bringing to the stage. With very fake and very cute coyness, Dani unzips her tracksuit top. Then she lifts her vest… The perfect, and I mean perfect, abs (abs that Dani understandably is obviously gagging to show off) thrilled female muscle fans all over world, provided me with one of my highlights of 2014, and gave us all (courtesy of the genius of Muscular Girls in Motion) what I reckon is the Gif of the Year.

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When she did take the stage she was glorious. She ended up in 2nd place, too ripped to win over the judges perhaps, but plenty ripped enough to win the collective heart of the female muscle lovin’ brethren. From St. Louis on, through the shows in Orlando, Omaha, and lastly, Tampa, Danielle was the fans’ favourite every time – though only her Best Poser Award (in Tampa), rather than her placings, would reflect that.

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So popular has Dani become that in the last couple of days she has even nicked Juliana Malacerne‘s title of Physique Goddess of the Year, winning by a country mile, on the influential fan forum whose first rule is you do not talk about it.

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Speaking of things you don’t talk about, we won’t revisit Dani’s brush with the law in September, except to say that it doesn’t seem to have done her any harm at all, especially if you bear the old adage that ‘no publicity is bad publicity’ in mind. Her star has continued its steady rise since then. The infamous boyfriend incident has, if anything, made her even more in demand for guest posing slots. Her clothing line – launched this year – seems to be doing well. Her new workout videos with Shannon Courtney are the hottest watch around right now, and you can even watch Dani cooking in the first of what is planned to be a series of “Lil Cooking Monstar” episodes.

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Watch Dani cooking? I’d watch Dani watch paint dry. I think we all would.

Your Women of the Year? Same? Different?
Please comment below or email 6ft1swell@gmail.com

The Art of Wreckage International

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Today the art of female muscle returns to FMS after a considerable time away, and I think you will agree it is quite a return. Alex “Wreckage” Wright aka Wreckage International is best-known for his huge moving sculptures that have featured at such high-profile events as this year’s Burning Man, Glastonburys passim, and the Closing Ceremony of the 2012 London Paralympics. But he is also a graphic designer and, of most interest to the female muscle fan, no slouch with the oil paints.

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This huge painting in Whitecross St. (near Old St. in London) that was originally made for The Rise of the Non-Conformists annual Whitecross Street Party last year is still there for all to see – or at least it was until about a month ago as far as we know.

Imagine a world where one of Wreckage International’s big muscular beauties hang huge, proud and half-naked on EVERY street corner! My kind of world…

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Prints and further information on the Wreckage International website.

Enjoy!

Pic of the Week

Loyal readers may remember that when we revealed Sophie Arvebrink as one of our Women of the Year 2013, FMS writer 6ft1swell also revealed that he was suffering from a rare condition that had left him quite unable to type his favourite Swede’s name without adding the word “Sexy”. And you may also remember that in a supposed effort to cure himself of this condition he had hoodwinked the FMS bigwigs into letting him have a one-way ticket to Stockholm to report on the lovely Sophie’s activities.

The plan was for him to send us a regular piece to be published on the blog entitled Swell’s Postcard from Stockholm, but we had heard nothing at all from him since.

Until last week, when this image, sent from Swell’s email, arrived in the FMS inbox.

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It appears to be Sophie. It’s sexy enough, for sure. And it was definitely taken by Swell’s FMS issue camera*. Quite what Swell was doing in Sophie’s kitchen as she put down her protein shake to admire her hip veins is anybody’s guess, as is whether Swell was there as a guest, or (I wouldn’t put it past him) as an intruder. Is he co-habiting with Sophie? Or is he now finding out what prison is like in a Scandinavian social democracy?

You’ll know as soon as we do.

For now, let’s just thank Swell for the pic, and all follow Sophie on Instagram.

Enjoy!

* Yes, FMS has a “Q” who gives us all gadgets that might be useful when in the field female muscle spotting – the cameras are tiny, and take very good pictures even when the field agent is shaking uncontrollably under the influence of The Madness.

Chicago 2014: Abs & Thighs

As it is the most recent incomer to the FMS Hall of Fame, it seemed appropriate to focus just for one day on some of the women in Chicago – both bodybuilders and physique competitors – hitting this most sexual and revealing of poses.

PHYSIQUE

A familiar face in an unfamiliar division: former bodybuilder Tracy Mason (left) competed in WPD for only the second time in her career in Chicago; ripped Margarita Charaim (right) enjoyed her highest ever pro finish, coming 7th.
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If physique is going to bring in hordes of good lookin’ women like this, says one forum poster, I’m all for it. Jen Louwagie (left, 8th) and Russia’s Olga Belyakova (right, 12th) brought beauty and sex appeal to the Chicago stage, if not the best abs!

And the beauty and sex appeal keeps on coming with Nola Trimble (left, 11th) and her six-pack; and Kimberly Baum (right, 10th) and her dazzling smile.
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In her fourth show of the year, Tish Shelton came in 9th – as she had in her first show of the year. Sandra Lombardo (right) followed up second place in Toronto with third (and more Olympia points) in Chicago. And deservedly so we say.

Readers may remember our anonymous female competitor calling the abs and thigh her “trigger pose”. Trigger for what? you might ask. Well, think about the muscles you need to flex to pull this pose off and you don’t have to use your imagination very much. So, who, do we think was having the most fun on that stage in the WPD?

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Well, we nominate LaDrissa Bonivel, who seemed to us to be having more fun than most in her division while hitting her abs and thigh. Not surprising when you consider she has almost ten years of competition behind her as a figure then physique competitor – so she should be pretty efficient at “triggering” by now is the theory. And furthermore, her 6th place finish was her highest placing as a pro, and I would imagine that is just about guaranteed to make a woman feel good about herself.

BODYBUILDING

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And so to the biggest girls of all. The ones who really do have lots and lots of “thick muscle converging”, as our anonymous female competitor put it, when they hit the abs and thigh. I imagine that being at a pro female bodybuilding show and hearing the inhalations and exhalations of these magnificent beasts as they crunch down onto their abs must be almost as exciting as the visual of seeing those abs crunched down on. I imagine it sounds something like a steam train that’s just started moving, ie. POWER IN ACTION. I imagine when this sound of power in action and the muscle visuals are provided simultaneously by (left to right) Kovack, Goroshinskaya, Giesbrecht, Gerard, Gaillard and Envall, then more than a few of the female muscle lovin’ spectators in the audience must surely get a bit, er, “overwhelmed”. Please confirm or deny.

Kim Perez (left, 8th), in her first show since 2012, had the forums alight with chatter. Posters praised her ever so exciting hugeness in the upper body department, but also there were those moaning that once again Kim’s legs have let her down, and sometimes both opinions could be found in the same post. I’m crazy about Kim Perez, one fan commented, before adding, quite reasonably that she still can’t bring up her legs to match her awesome, unrivalled upper body. So far I think we all agree, but unfortunately this fan didn’t stop there. I think at this point she should slim down and defect to physique, he added, prompting another member to reply with what we were all thinking, only wittier: Go wash your mouth out with soap young man.
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Nancy Clark (right, 15th) fared badly with the judges again, and will probably want to forget 2014 results-wise. She did a lot better with the fans, though. To my eye anyway, she’s been making gains and looked even more sexily shredded this time than she had in Chicago last year, when she was awarded 5th. At least one forum poster agrees: Anyone know why the heck Nancy Clark keeps placing so low at these contests? Based on my analysis she should be placing well within the top six.

The judges did like the legend that is Christine Envall, though. Her 3rd place here and her 3rd place in Omaha means she has a real shot at making 2014 the year she finally graces the Ms Olympia stage. None more deserving. And an FMS shout out to Christine as well for choosing a less modest posing suit than the majority of the field. Maybe “old school” (huge & shredded muscles + hankies & string posing suits) is the way forward in terms of getting fans back to the sport in greater numbers? Maybe.
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And going one better than “Big Chris” was the very exciting, very very vascular Lisa Giesbrecht. This show has always been about conditioning over size, one (much more knowledgeable than I) fan has pointed out (who knew? Different judging styles at different shows. Makes sense, just never occurred to me. So much I still have to learn…). And when Lisa’s conditioning is right, it’s freaky right. VEINZZZ!!!

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The top six, left to right: Sanchez, Blaino, Giesbrecht, Bello, Envall and Miller demonstrate power in action as one. Utterly intoxicating, I imagine.

But the FMS prize for The Best Abs and Thigh Poser, also known as the “I’m Having More Fun Up Here Than You Could POSSibly Imagine” award, goes to a woman who always gives the impression she’d rather be naked at home surrounded by mirrors…

The one and only Roxanne Edwards… CRUNCH!

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… and Roxanne is also up for the Best Teeth Award.

Enjoy!

Pic of the Week: Lea’s Prayer

Danish sensation Lea Wiehl posted this image of her topless self seemingly caught in a moment of (topless!) prayer on her Instagram a few days ago. It’s what we might call a “Forearms Bra” (rather than a “Hand Bra“) pose, and what big veiny forearms they are!

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And what big veiny forearms they need to be in order to cover up Lea’s fully pumped pecs and extras! Don’t know about you, but I am absolutely LOVING Lea’s apparently manicure-free lifter’s hands as well. Do you think she’s praying for bigger and/or stronger muscles? Or perhaps she’s dieting and needs a little extra inner strength to overcome her cravings today? Personally, I can’t help but think she’s asking the Lord to send her her very own eloquent, urbane, female muscle bloggin’ slave…

Enjoy!

Wings of Strength

I think there’s been a misunderstanding, and I want to clear things up.

More than a few bloggers have been claiming that Jacqueline “Jay” Fuchs wants them to soap/scrub/rinse/dry her back. Well, she doesn’t. It’s me she wants.

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Good. I feel better for that.

So much better in fact that I am prepared to show I hold no grudge whatsoever with those making misguided claims concerning the above scenario. Let’s face it, Jay does have a really really wonderful back and all, exactly the kind of back you’d exchange a body part for the chance to soap up, but she isn’t (thankfully) the only muscle angel with such wings of strength. And I’m not a greedy man, so to show there’s no hard feelings, let’s say I get to do Jay, and you can take your pick from the others…

Now, that’s not such a bad deal, is it?

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I mean, if I’m prepared to offer you Jill Rudison, Ms Quads Not Included herself, and all her glorious muscular detail above, you know I’m feeling generous. Jill, I’ll say when she pops round for one of her bi-weekly visits to FMS HQ, Jill, I’m sorry I won’t be able to check those cuts out from now on, you’ve had your last special massage off me, I’ll say. But don’t worry, [insert your name here] is going to take over, and he (or she) is quite the muscle worship artist, I’ll say. And I know that he (or she) is really looking forward to getting his (or her) hands on those rhomboids of yours, I’ll say.

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Or how about the beautiful Russian figure competitor Olga Chestoperova? Granted, she’s considerably less well-known than La Rudison, but if Olga from behind isn’t rocking your boat, she was recently featured looking absolutely glorious on the mighty PumpItUp, so check that out before you ask me what else I’ve got on offer.

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Here (left) we have another of Swell’s big 2014 crushes, the recently-competed Brooke Black, in a selfie that wouldn’t have looked out of place if we had posted it as part of last week’s Muscle in a Dress celebration. Or if Brooke doesn’t appeal (iffy reputation and all), then I’m sure the scenario on the right will. Just take a moment to put yourself in that room (behind the camera, perhaps?) and think about what happens next… And no, I don’t know who they are. A Google Images search turned up “Best Guess – female muscle porn star”(!!!) which hardly narrows it down these days.

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Feast your eyes on the beautiful symmetry, the insane definition, and on the big, full muscles all over the piece of female muscle art that Ayanna Carroll has created with her back. Feast your eyes as you imagine the fun you could have if tomorrow was the start of a long weekend, Ayana was in this shape, had just handed you a bottle of oil with the instruction to “use it all”, and you had nothing else to do.

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Ok. Some of you, I see, are still playing hardball. Well, perhaps Marthe Sundby‘s post-pump lat spread might make you change your mind about continuing to hold out for Jay. Look: it ain’t gonna happen, pal, so give it up. I am offering you Marthe! I’d tell her to go and do her post-pump posing somewhere else. I’d tell her to go and do her post-pump posing at your place. I would do that for you, I really would.

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And if you are still here, then this, I’m afraid is my final offer. Virginia, an oiled up explosion of muscle, and it’s you – YOU – she wants to get top of hers undone (her fingers are a bit on the sticky side you see) so you can really get busy exploring…

Enjoy!

And a big shout out to Insane Muscle Girls for bringing the Jay pics to FMS‘ attention – although the ludicrous claim that Jay really wants him, rather than me, to do the soaping does detract from what is otherwise an absolutely flawless blog.

By the way, the timing of today’s post, with its rather contrived title, is no coincidence. Wings of Strength (the website) should be applauded by all of us female muscle heads for their support of female bodybuilding over the last few years, and in Chicago today the latest event made possible by their sponsorship comes to a close.