C. Moore Glootz’s Fun from Rear

News that British celebrity Carol Voderman had been given 2014’s Rear of the Year award – and so become the first woman to have won the title twice – sent irregular FMS contributor C. Moore Glootz into such an indignant rage that the only way we found we could placate him was by offering him free rein on the blog for a whole week.

Buckle up!

REAR OF THE YEAR MY ARSE!

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C. Moore is NOT happy. Who voted for that? For sure it wasn’t C. Moore, and I hope to heaven not YOU, either. I mean honestly, a two time winner? I repeat. NOT happy.

C. Moore understands this is a “light-hearted award” and is not surprised. Who in their right mind would take it seriously? But that doesn’t mean C. Moore isn’t – taking it seriously, that is. No, no. C. Moore is taking it very VERY seriously indeed.

Seems to C. Moore there are plenty out there who need to be educated about what a fine rear, what true Glooteus Maxxximum is all about, vis-à-vis HARD MUSCLE.

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Consider GLOOTUCATION commenced.

Media Watch: Making an ASOS of Themselves

Times, it seems, have changed. Once upon a time you could insult muscular women with impunity and fear no retribution. Well, not anymore, not here in the UK anyway. Or at least not here in the UK when the muscular woman that you’ve insulted happens to be something of a celebrity with over half a million followers on her Twitter.

Once again, it’s time to big up Jodie Marsh.

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Once upon a time, Jodie was, in the words of one of our readers all that is wrong in pop-culture, [a] vapid no-talent skank with a repulsive surgically enhanced ‘hot’ body. But then, as reported by FMS way back in October 2011 (see Jodie Marsh Takes It Mainstream), Jodie took up bodybuilding for a TV documentary. She didn’t turn into Lisa Cross, but the results were impressive. Now she’s gotten her shit together and is showing the world what a bit of hard work does, our reader continued. The fruits of her labour impressive, her body is actually worthy of attention now.

Another documentary was made (see Marsh in the USA) following Jodie as she prepared for, and ultimately won, a natural bodybuilding competition in the US.

Meanwhile, FMS reported that Jodie’s story was inspiring women in the UK to get into the gym and lift. We called this phenomenon “The Marsh Effect”, and a year and a half after our first Jodie-related post, we concluded that despite not being the biggest, the most successful, or by any conventional criteria the best female bodybuilder Britain has produced, in terms of promoting the sport and inspiring her fellow women, there’s no arguing with the fact that it’s Jodie Marsh who has got the results.

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Jodie even moved into the supplements game and, with so many women taking inspiration and motivation from her, she has become a sort of unofficial spokesperson for the physical and psychological benefits of weight training for women.

And that pretty much brings us up to 20th May this year, when whoever is (or, more likely, was) responsible for the official Twitter account of “online shopping giant” ASOS made the mistake of insulting Jodie Marsh in a reply to a somewhat sarcastic but nonetheless genuine customer enquiry about the models they use for their clothes.

[The tweet was, shock horror, removed, so click on the pic to see the details]

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Jodie, unsurprisingly, was less than impressed…

You may remember that Jodie has spoken at length about her past as a victim of bullying, about how it had all but destroyed her self-esteem. Weight training had enabled her to rediscover her sense of self-worth, and she had taken up the cause, becoming an ambassador, the media face of a nationwide anti-bullying campaign.

Her Twitter followers were outraged…

OMG!! Shocking you are an inspiration to many and this is disgusting! You are strong and fit, not manly!! Disgusting ASOS!How stupid of them to pick on someone who is known for fighting against bullying. Plus you look greatI’m sending back my orders now. This is why I left the fashion world. Nasty people who promote eating disordersThis is disgraceful! Way for them to alienate potential customers just for choosing the fitness lifestyle! I’m horrified by thisAbsolutely disgraceful. Do you eck look like a man Jodie! You’re beautiful and I absolutely love you!

Within hours, ASOS had sent Jodie an apology. But she wasn’t having it, and retaliated by retweeting yet more messages of support from her followers and a picture of herself wearing a dress she had actually bought from ASOS. Do you think I look like a man????? the accompanying tweet read, I don’t. And then she followed that up with another message, spelling out to ASOS exactly what they should be apologising for.

By the evening, national online news platforms were picking up on the story, reporting that Jodie was shaking with rage and/or close to tears. And, unlike the minion at ASOS (who was probably at that very moment clearing his desk), the national media proved itself to be a lot more savvy to the “Strong Is Sexy” zeitgeist, joining Jodie’s followers in laying into ASOS’s insulting attitude towards her fit, strong and healthy body, and accusing them of promoting harmful body ideals through their choice of models.

At around 8pm that evening, ASOS issued another apology. And this apology was addressed not only to Jodie, but also to anyone else who was offended. On top of that, note ASOS’s new-found commitment to promoting positive body image.

By the next morning, any online news sources that hadn’t carried the story the day before were carrying it now. Even the more high-minded such as The Independent (who wouldn’t normally touch a Jodie Marsh story with a ten-foot pole) were jumping on the bash ASOS band wagon. Jodie had promised some good will come from this late the previous evening, and the next day she announced exactly how ASOS was going to put it right – a nice big fat £10,000 donation to Jodie’s anti-bullying charity.

So a happy ending, then. A VERY happy ending. Talk about turning a negative into a positive! as one of her Twitter followers exclaimed. And for me, and I think all female muscle fans here in the UK, AND all the weight-training women of Britain who sweat so hard for their beautiful bodies, there is even more to celebrate than the fact that a very worthy cause has received a big chunk of money, because from now on, insulting a woman for lifting weights or having muscles is, quite simply, not going to be on.

The ASOS debacle should and probably will have companies up and down the land firing off missives to its employees, particularly those involved in their online presence, making damn sure everyone understands that they are to add women with muscles to the list of things it is definitely not cool to diss on the company time.

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Perhaps the next time one of us is in a group of people and someone starts talking about a muscular woman in a negative way, we will think of what transpired on the 21st and 22nd May this year. And we’ll turn round to that misguided fool, look them straight in the eye, and tell them they are making a right ASOS of themselves.

And if you do pay a visit to her Twitter you can see just some of the women that Jodie is helping to learn to love themselves and their bodies through pumping iron (and, I dare say, taking the odd supplement from her range). “The Marsh Effect” shows absolutely no signs of fading. If anything, it keeps getting stronger and stronger.

Jodie Marsh, I imagine, probably doesn’t much fit your idea of what a “female bodybuilder” looks like, and she certainly doesn’t fit mine. However, she is doing more to promote weight training for women, and more to make the British public’s perception of those women a positive one than anyone else I can think of.

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As well as her Twitter, you can keep up with “The Marsh Effect” on Jodie’s Instagram and/or Facebook. Learn about and donate to her anti-bullying campaign here.

Favourites Fortnight

Posts

For a change, we thought today we could focus on your favourites rather than mine as we bring you today the TOP TEN MOST POPULAR FMS POSTS EVER (by page views).

[This list is not the same as the ‘Popular Posts’ (see right), which are ranked according to page views this month rather than for all time, though a few feature on both.]

10 – Hot and Hard: Cindy Landolt

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There is so much more to this woman than just stunning looks and a perfect body…

9 – Further Adventures in Celebrity Muscle

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Her Madgesty, Serena Williams, Jessica Biel, Jamie Pressly, Lena Olin and many more leave FMS wondering whether the time of the buff female celebrity is nigh… This post owes its popularity to a reader who posted a link to it on a Turkish community forum. Almost all of its 3,908 page views came in the week after the link appeared there.

8 – Muscle Girls Next Door

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These days we prefer to call them FMGs (Future Muscle Godesses) but back in June 2011, we were still calling them Girls Next Door. This was a picture post that had been inspired by a real life female muscle sighting in Greenwich the day before.

7 – FBBUK: The Transformation of Linda Gartside

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One of my personal favourites. The amazing story of Linda Gartside‘s journey from binge-eater to NABBA Universe champ told as a Rocky-style Hollywood blockbuster and endorsed by Rochdale’s sexiest driving instructor herself. FMS Gold!

6 – Images of 2011

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A nod from the mighty Area Orion and BOOM! thousands of new readers arrive at FMS for the first time and take a gander at what and who had been getting me all pumped up in 2011. Femme Fatale, Annie Sakamoto, Silvia Sarti and Mara Dalila (above, winning Leg Shot of the Year) are just some of the mouth-watering treats on offer.

5 – Andrea Rosu

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A thing for muscular legs on non-muscular women developed through trips to Soho sex shops as a teenager and a tip-off from PumpItUp himself combine to create a tribute to Andrea Rosu, fetish model. I was so sure that this post wouldn’t be popular that I felt the need to apologise for featuring a woman who was not a bodybuilder as an introduction, which just goes to show how well I know my readers!

4 – Size Matters: A Fantasy Contest

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Imagine you could have a female bodybuilding contest where all the competitors were at their absolute peak irrespective of the era they actually competed in. Kind of like Bill and Ted, you have a time machine and you can travel back and forth in time collecting your favourite FBBs for your dream show…

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This post marked the start of a number of virtual friendships with female muscle heads from all over the world as readers voted for their ultimate FBB contest line-up. Add to that the pleasure had in choosing the women and the format for “The Number One Orgasmic Meat Exhibition” and you get another of my personal favourites.

3 – Glamazons

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Swell reveals that as far as he’s concerned, a muscle woman in a sexy dress is heaven on Earth, and goes on to describe – with a little help from Minna Pajulahti (above left), Andrea Giacomi (above right), and a host of other beautiful muscle women looking glamorous – exactly what it is that makes them such heavenly sights.

2 – Big Girls

What it says on the tin plus real quotes from female bodybuilders.

1 – Size Matters: Super Freaks

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I’m proud of this one. A combination of Collette Guimond, Rene Toney and Christine Envall plus Tigersan and Richard Dawkins. A celebration of the women who say I’m going to be the most muscular woman on that stage, perhaps the most muscular woman in the world, and to hell with you if you don’t like it!

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And a conclusion that if it is true that there is no limit in theory to the muscular development a woman can have, we can only conclude that in the future the muscles of today’s super-freaks like Christine, Colette and Rene might seem quite tame!

Enjoy!

It’ll be back to my favourites tomorrow…

Media Watch: Gal Gadot Buffs Up

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As celebrity female muscle pics go, more stir has been created by Israeli actress Gal Gadot‘s Facebook post from February 17th than most. There’s nothing like a good workout in the morning, she writes, showing us her, er, bicep. Love it! You?

The stir is the result of the announcement at the end of last year that she had been cast in what’s being called Batman Vs Superman (although officially it doesn’t have a title yet, and is listed on IMDb as Untitled Superman-Batman Project). No, Gal hasn’t been cast as Superman, and no, she hasn’t been cast as Batman, either.

She’s going to be Wonder Woman.

The announcement sparked off some hilarious reactions from the world of comic fandom as grown men in bedrooms all over the world complained via the wonder of social media that Gal didn’t have the breasts or the muscles to play Wonder Woman.

And, with the above picture and an interview on Israeli TV, Gal has responded.

Breasts… anyone can buy for 9,000 shekels and everything is fine. By the way, Wonder Woman is Amazonian, and historically accurate Amazonian women actually had only one breast. So, if I’d really go “by the book”… it’d be problematic.

Now, apparently Gal is quite a big deal with people who watch movies like Fast & Furious, but I have to admit I’d never heard of her before this picture arrived in the FMS inbox. However, the way she out-geeked the geekboys with her knowledge of Amazonian culture there… Well, I’m beginning to like her.

And, according to her interview, “a good workout in the morning” is not going to be the limit of her mass-building in preparation for the part (and given that the movie isn’t going into production anytime soon, she’s got plenty of time to build that mass).

It’s the physical preparations that I’m starting now, she says. A very serious training regimen – Kung Fu, kickboxing, swords, jujitsu, Brazilian… I’ll gain body mass.

Well, that is good news. And if there are going to be progress pictures along the way, even better. Meanwhile, like the good female muscle head I am, I will be completely ignoring developments in the world of comic book superheroine debate, although if I fancy a bit of cosplay, there’s no shortage of images of REAL Wonder Womans (Wonder Women? Neither sounds quite right!) for the female muscle head to enjoy…

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Media Watch

Media Watch is a new series exploring how stories relating to female muscle are reported in the English-speaking world’s mainstream media.

FMS was delighted that the very first UK article to come to the attention of our Media Watch team in 2014 was one that was nothing but positive about the benefits of weight training for women. The article, in the ‘Life’ section in the online version of the Express newspaper, promised ‘a bodybuilding champ’ would be explaining how ‘heartbreak’ had ‘inspired’ her. Now the accompanying picture didn’t make it look as if we really were about to read about a bodybuilding champ as you or I would understand the word, but in the UK media, you take what you can get. We read on…

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This time last year, Rachel Evans, a 43-year-old PA from South London explained, I’d just got engaged. I was living in a big house in Essex, driving around in expensive cars and dining in the best restaurants. But was she happy? No! On the surface it looked as if I had the perfect life. I was supposed to be happy but in reality I was far from it. I knew the relationship wasn’t working and had tried to leave him before but in the end I couldn’t bring myself to do it. So when he asked me to marry him just after Christmas when we’d been together for a year I said yes. But just a week later, Rachel was packing her car and leaving her fiancé.

And this change in her life led to another. I suffered from anorexia as a teenager and keeping fit helped me overcome my eating disorder. I had lifted weights before and had always been interested in bodybuilding but I hadn’t had the opportunity to try it.

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The opportunity arrived, the article continued, when Rachel was introduced to the forgotten IFBB pro of British bodybuilding, the 6’2″ (that’s 1 full inch taller than FMS‘ own 6ft1swell, or, if you’d rather, 1.88m) Sarah Bridges, who was last seen at the 2013 New York Pro show as a physique competitor, three full years after her previous show as a bodybuilder.

From February to September I trained rigorously with Sarah and could see my body changing on a weekly basis, said Rachel. I became leaner and more toned than ever and developed a six-pack. My body fat went down to 10% and I began to look and feel like a proper athlete.

Now, before we get to the happy ending, I want you to remember that last bit because it’s going to be VERY important later: My body fat went down to 10% and I began to look and feel like a proper athlete. Got that? 10% body fat, looking and feeling like a ‘proper athlete’.

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Back to Rachel. My dream was to compete in a bodybuilding competition and in October I won the Bikini Diva Champion Total Fitness title. That was my second competition and I was absolutely ecstatic.

So, woman finds self-esteem through weight training at a low point in her life, and meanwhile conquers her eating disorder once and for all. That’s the kind of story I like to post, I thought to myself. OK, so she’s ‘only’ a bikini competitor, which might disgruntle a few readers, but like I said before, you take what you can get in the UK media. And I can even give a long overdue nod to Sarah Bridges on the way.

Satisfied, I ran the story past our legendary editor, JJ Musclesucker.

Play up the Bridges angle to keep the muscle fans happy and you’ve got yourself the go ahead, he told me. Lovely. I began to research this Rachel Evans. I found her old website, where she publicised her makeover, personal shopping and bridal make-up businesses. Her new website, also called MakeOverEssex, was all about Rachel Evans the bikini competitor and sponsored athlete.

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And then I came across a story originally from The Sun newspaper from way back in 2009. There was Rachel. And there was Madonna. And the headline for the story was “I wish I’d never tried to get a body like Madonna”.

Remember what Rachel said about her 10% body fat this January? That it was only when she had achieved it that she had started to ‘look and feel like a proper athlete’? Well, the Rachel Evans from the 2009 article had quite a different point of view…

I have a body fat ratio of about 10% so all the muscles and veins in my arms show up more clearly and prominently than if I was weightier. I have to hide my veiny hands by wearing leather gloves after a workout or if I’m going out in the evening. Only the other day I was painting a ceiling and was struck by the thick, blue vein running from my bicep to the corner of my wrist. It’s not attractive.

Rachel v.2009 also talks about how her breasts disappeared as her body fat ratio fell, how this made her feel ‘like a little boy’, and led to her getting new boobs. It was the surgery, not the weight training, that made her feel better… and more body-confident.

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Don’t worry, I’m not about to have a massive rant about the hypocrisy of it all. To be honest, I don’t think Rachel is really being hypocritical at all. It seems to me that back in 2009, as now, Rachel Evans is in the business of getting publicity for Rachel Evans. In the past she needed the publicity to attract clients to her various services. Now, perhaps the services she offers are different and she attracts publicity for the benefit of her sponsors as well as for herself, but it’s all the same game.

What’s interesting to me is this. How does Rachel, fitness fanatic and Madonna fan, get herself into a national newspaper in 2009? By riding in on the back of a general press outcry at how bad Madonna’s ‘gristly’ arms were looking, and by being negative about the effects of her fitness regime. But how does the same woman get herself into the national media five years’ later? By being nothing but positive about her ‘new’ weight training self.

In the end, that’s the story this ended up being. Same woman, same body fat percentage, telling a very different story about her life of fitness to the story she had told five years ago. Then, the national media were only too happy to accommodate her disgust at her own sinewy self, but now things are different. Now, they want a positive angle on weight training, they want a life transformed for the better, they want to hear about female empowerment through muscle building.

Enjoy!

Media Watch

Media Watch is a new series exploring how stories relating to female muscle are reported in the English-speaking world’s mainstream media.

Today, a look at Australia (and New Zealand), where, once again, Serena Williams‘ ‘muscular’ body was the subject of a little media attention, and this in turn led to much comment and debate about women and muscularity in general during the first week of the recent Australian Open.

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We’ve certainly been here before. As long ago as August 2011, FMS reported that Serena’s body had been the subject of some negative media attention in the UK, and the ‘debate’, as the press would have it, about her being ‘too muscular’ seems to raise it’s head every time one of tennis’ Grand Slams are held.

However, this time there was a slightly different slant in the Aussie and Kiwi media.

Why Do We Find Muscular Women So Perplexing? was a typical headline – a story from the Brisbane Times website that appeared almost verbatim two days later on the Otago Times website under the headline Muscularity Challenges Feminine Ideal.

We don’t see many muscular women in popular culture – and the display of much heavier and obviously stronger female bodies can be overwhelming or shocking, began the article. Why are we so afraid of strong, muscular women?

After all, there’s nothing unnatural about a strong and muscular woman. What’s unnatural is preventing and discouraging women from reaching their full physical potential in the name of femininity.

Wait a minute! Swell thought to himself. ‘Nothing unnatural about a strong and muscular woman’. Pleasingly, this didn’t sound like it was going to be one of those typical mainstream media articles about female muscle.

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Dr Jamilla Rosdahl

The author, I noted, was no hack journalist but one Jamilla Rosdahl, a lecturer in Gender Studies at the University of the Sunshine Coast in Queensland, and a few clicks later Swell was all over Dr Rosdahl’s PhD thesis, entitled Sculpting my Feminist Identity and Body: An Autoethnographic Exploration of Bodysculpting and Poststructuralist Feminist Fieldwork.

It’s quite a read.

I beg Dr Rosdahl’s forgiveness if I am misrepresenting her work in any way, but in a nutshell, it deals with issues that arose when she took up bodybuilding, or ‘bodysculpting’ as she calls the figure/fitness side of things. What struck her first of all was how, as a result of her body becoming more muscular, her own ‘femininity’ started to be questioned by others but also by herself, and at the same time how unfair it seemed to her that while male bodybuilders are in no way judged on their masculinity, female competitors are marked down for not showing enough femininity.

It goes without saying that she explains it better than me, but if you are not as inclined as me to get your teeth into such academia and read her thesis, you can listen to an interview with her on a Brisbane radio station from 2011, when she was still doing her research, here.

And Dr Rosdahl was on Aussie radio again during the Australian Open when she was interviewed for another Brisbane station, 4BC, on 14th January, along with Carole Graham, an IFBB executive and former multiple national champion from way back.

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Carole Graham in her pomp, and today

The section of the show that includes their interviews is definitely worth a listen in full (and you can do so here) for a couple of reasons apart from Dr Rosdahl’s prescence.

Firstly, there is (to me anyway) the revelation from Carole Graham that the Australian IFBB hold female-only shows. And secondly, there is the attitude of the hosts, partly revealed when Graham mentions one of these shows. To these two radio presenters in Brisbane at least, it’s undeniable that women with muscle ARE desired and that, as Carole Graham says earlier in the show, the confidence that stems from being in control of how your body looks attracts many more men.

Carole Graham: … we’ve got one coming up on the Gold Coast in March, and you know what? Most of the audience is guys that come along and really respect how the girls train…

Female Host: Oh they don’t Carole! Oh grow up! They’re not coming for that!

Male Host: That’s what we tell you Carole, that’s what we tell…

Female Host: They come to drool, that’s why they come. They come with their tongues hanging out like Pavlovian dogs!

An academic and two popular radio talk show hosts providing positive media for female muscle, albeit it in very very different ways. It certainly makes a refreshing change from the norm.

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And here’s the show Carole Graham mentioned. If you’re in that part of the world and ‘respect how the girls train’, why not check it out? You probably won’t be alone by all accounts, and FMS would love to hear from any readers who do attend!

Info is available on the IFBB Australia website.

You Can’t Trust A Man Called Piers

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News that Piers ‘Morgan’ Moron (© Private Eye) thinks Madonna’s arms are too muscular is resolutely refusing to go away. Once a self-publicist, always a self-publicist, and re-locating to the USA (my condolences) hasn’t affected Piers’ ability to generate column inches for himself. Seeing as David Furnish had already put the boot in on Her Madgesty after the Golden Globes, Piers, couldn’t resist kicking a woman when she’s down, and getting himself all over the media just before a new series of his US talk show begins. Yawn.

Wait! I hear you cry. Aren’t you just adding to those column inches? Don’t do it! Walk away!

I hear you, but here in the UK we haven’t forgotten exactly why it is that Mr ‘Morgan’ Moron has gone stateside. The condensed version is that when he was the editor of the UK daily newspaper The Mirror, it was, according to one of the senior journalists who worked for him, ‘very unlikely’ that he did not know that phone hacking was used by representatives of his newspaper, and Piers said as much to the recent enquiry into the phone hacking scandal: Mr Morgan admitted he had listened to a tape recording of a voicemail message left by Sir Paul on his then wife’s mobile phone was how it was reported by The Daily Mail. So, someone played him a tape recording of a message left on Heather Mill’s voicemail, but he didn’t know that people who worked for his newspaper were hacking phones. Yeah, right. And this from the man who resigned because his paper had printed fake pictures of British soldiers abusing Iraqi prisoners, and I think you can see why Piers thought a trip West would be a good move.

You can’t trust what comes out of Piers. In some instances, the opposite of what he says is, in fact, the truth. So let’s assume that Piers wasn’t breaking the habit of a lifetime and that what he said about Madonna and her arms isn’t really what he thinks at all. He’s given us no reason to believe him before, why should we do it now?

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And if Piers was lying, how does he really feel about Madonna, and her ‘caveman’ arms? The only reasonable conclusion is he thinks they’re hot. He doesn’t want her on his show because he knows he won’t be able to control himself. Minutes into the interview the urge to jump over his desk, grab Madge’s bicep and start slavering all over it will be too much. And then he’ll be finished in America too.

Since the Piers/Madonna story broke, Female Muscle Slave has been tirelessly hacking Mr ‘Morgan’ Moron’s phone and personal computer, and we can reveal, exclusively, that Piers is one of us. A female muscle addict. Some of the evidence is presented below. All the pictures were recovered from the ‘Morgan’ Moron phone or PC.

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Heather Foster left a voicemail on Piers’ phone soon after the TV interview threatening to come over and punch him into next week if he mentioned any other woman’s arms again. Lisa Giesbrecht left a similarly angry message, promising Piers that he had licked cream off her biceps for the last time, while Betty Viana was so angry she had to resort to her native Spanish to express herself fully. The Female Muscle Slave translation team are still working on the English transcription of the message. So far, they have Now listen you hairless boy who licks fuck sticks… We imagine much of the rest of the message will be unprintable.

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This picture of Kim Perez was recovered by our hacking team from a folder named ‘You’re So Vein’. Get it? His gift for language is stunning, isn’t it? Also in the folder was a document in which Piers laid out what he’d like to do to poor Kim’s vascular pythons. Needless to say, it wasn’t ‘ban them from television’.

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This stunning pic of Aleesha Young was Piers’ most recent screensaver. No, really.

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Skadi Frei actually sent this picture of herself to Piers after she heard his comments on a Swiss news channel. These are big arms you silly little man, her e-mail read. Now I dare you to come to my house in the Alps and call me a caveman to my face. Julie Bourassa was also in touch soon after the interview. I could crush your head like a grape, she said on his voicemail. And if you bag muscular women publicly again, I just might. Marja Lehtonen also called to say that Thursday at 2pm is fine. Piers hasn’t been seen since he boarded a flight from New York to Helsinki on Wednesday night.

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A hacked e-mail exchange with Sarah Hayes further reveals Piers’ female muscle lovin’ tendencies. Mr ‘Morgan’ Moron begs Sarah for a muscle worship session, and when Sarah explains she doesn’t do sessions, Not for anyone, and especially not for you, there follows much undignified pleading from Piers.

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Sarah finally threatens to forward the entire exchange to his wife in order to get him off her case, to which Piers replies, Do it! I’m leaving her for Fabiola Boulanger anyway! Now, a terrible liar and a bit of a pest he may be, but at least he’s got good taste (when it comes to muscle women anyway).

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And finally, this image of the magnificent Brigita Brezovac looking particularly magnificent was one of the ones that came up when the hacking team searched his phone for ‘Most Recent Documents’. In fact, if our time calculations are correct, he must have banged one out to Brigita just after his interview finished, rushing to the studio toilet as soon as his mic was off. No, that’s unfair that last bit. That’s just something I made up. He probably waited until he got in the lift to do that. Or the limo. Or both.

Enjoy! And remember, when Piers says he’s repulsed by women with muscular arms, what he means is he loves them.

He probably reads this blog.

Jessica, You’re Gorgeous

It’s never good to hear that a beautiful, muscular woman doesn’t like the way she looks, so alarm bells rang when I saw the headline ‘Heptathlon world champion Jessica Ennis admits body insecurity’ in yesterday’s Daily Mail.

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The article is basically a big advert for the new issue of the UK Marie Claire, which has Jessica on the cover, draped in the flag. The gist of the Mail’s take on it is that Jessica feels her ‘muscular’ figure (it’s not that muscular, Iris Kyle she ain’t but that’s the word she uses) isn’t feminine, and merely a ‘tool’ for her career.

However, as I read the article in full, and other articles that appeared in UK newspapers and on celebrity and sports websites today, basically reporting exactly what the Mail had, it became clear that all of them were actually positive about Jessica’s appearance, and all of them mentioned how great she looks in the Marie Claire shoot.

From the Mail: Jessica looks stunning in the magazine’s shoot, in which she shows off her incredible figure wearing some very revealing sportswear. From the Star: As these pictures prove, she has got sex appeal. From the Mirror: If looking stunning was an Olympic sport, Jessica Ennis would win gold every time… but believe it or not, she doesn’t reckon she’s a beauty, although there are a million fans who would argue.

A million indeed. In terms of UK searches, only Pippa Middleton has more than Jessica with the word ‘bum’ attached. And that shouldn’t be too much of a surprise to her, as she was, according to the Telegraph, ‘Rear of the Year’ at secondary school.

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Comments on the articles are pretty much all positive, and many of them refer to her physique as desirable, more desirable than typically celebrated mainstream body types:

I think you look amazing, give me toned athletic rather than stick insect any day! Good luck Jessica, I’ll be rooting for you this summer!

She blows all these ‘celebs’ away.

She is a real stunner, far better than any professional model.

The journalists who wrote the articles, the public who commented on them (or merely searched for pictures of her bum!), and also indeed the man she is engaged to, all agree that she is attractive, very attractive, and that her honed, athletic physique is very much part of that attraction.

So why this insecurity? Another of the comments hits the nail on the head I think: It [Jessica’s attitude to her body]’s not surprising. The media has decided it’s OK to tell women ‘curvy’ means you’re really female [feminine] and if you are slim or don’t have big boobs, you’re worthless. Not the best sentence ever written in English, but insightful nonetheless, and I agree with the poster that, to some extent at least, Jessica Ennis has been conditioned by the media to dislike her own fabulously toned, athletic body.

Tragic as that may be, it’s clear that Jessica is holding a minority opinion. And once again I am pleasantly surprised that the British press and the British public have reacted to a beautiful but muscular (well, toned and athletic) woman in a positive way. And that’s not a bad start to 2012.

Judge for yourself if Jessica needs to lose muscle to be beautiful and feminine.

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Enjoy, and a belated Happy New Year to all you lovely readers!

Jodie Marsh Takes It Mainstream

There has never been so much female muscle in the UK mainstream press and media. And ONE woman is responsible for it. And, although it should be, it’s not Lisa Cross. It’s Jodie Marsh.

For those readers outside the UK, Jodie Marsh was once famous for nothing more than having huge boobs. She certainly put in the hours, turning up any day of the week at any nightclub or film premiere where she could flash her tits and guarantee herself a picture in the next day’s paper.

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Her career ‘moved on’ to reality TV. The ‘highlights’ were Celebrity Big Brother and Totally Jodie Marsh, the concept of which was to find Jodie a husband. No, really. And she actually got married to the winner. Surprisingly, it didn’t last.

Then, just over a year ago, these images appeared in the mainstream media.
Jodie Marsh had started bodybuilding!

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At the time, I was, I admit, sceptical. She looks so much better, I thought, but it’s got to be just another publicity stunt – the reality TV work was drying up at that stage, and with the breakdown of her ‘marriage’, Jodie seemed to be heading for the E list.
How wrong I was!

Last January, I stumbled across a show on The Active Channel on UK TV, and there she was, looking even better than in the photos, being trained by Tim Sharp.
The shows are still up on the website, part one is here.

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Then, since the beginning of this month BOOM! Jodie Marsh and her muscles are everywhere. Print media, online ‘news’ websites, even breakfast TV. She had competed in a pro-am show in September, finishing fifth.

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Turns out that Jodie hasn’t completely given up her reality TV dreams. Her journey to muscle has been followed by a TV crew, and the show will be on DMAX in the UK in January next year.

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Now, as I said at the start, this level of coverage for a female bodybuilder is completely unprecedented. And what’s more, it’s pretty much all positive. And so Jodie has suddenly become a kind of unofficial spokeswoman for the benefits of female muscle.

When I look back at some of the photos of me in my ‘heyday’ they make me feel physically sick. I look flabby, fat and full of cellulite. I used to loathe my body but now I absolutely adore it. This is the best I’ve ever felt, and the best my body has ever felt too.

Before taking up bodybuilding I was feeling depressed and suicidal. Now I have a new life ahead of me. I have a great new body and I feel at peace with myself.

Anyone who feels fat and flabby like I used to can change that. What I’m saying is try exercise, get yourself off the sofa. You don’t know how much your life could change for the better.

I feel proud when I look in the mirror. I still can’t believe it’s my body. Like, when I look at my abs, I’m just like, f**king hell, I love it so much!

I’m the prettiest I’ve ever looked. It has totally changed my life, doing this. My self-esteem is higher, my confidence is higher, I feel more secure, feel powerful – I almost feel invincible. I do feel a bit like Superwoman!

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Moreover, it seems that us fellas who like a bit (or even a lot) of muscle on our women are not such freaks after all.

I’ve never attracted so many blokes in my life. It’s been a real eye-opener. Since I became a bodybuilder I’ve suddenly got about 50 guys interested in me.

It’s not hard for me (and you) to understand why this should be. The surprise is that this coverage and these quotes are from national newspapers and national TV networks. Jodie Marsh has single-handedly raised the profile of female bodybuilding to new heights, spoken out about the benefits of muscle building for women, particularly those with low self-esteem, AND made female muscle fans feel like they no longer need to be shy about expressing their preferences. It’s quite an achievement.

If you’re from the USA, imagine a fading reality TV babe who you never thought was much of a babe. It should be someone who has an annoying accent, and who seemed to be entering the fifteenth minute of their alloted fame time. Now, imagine that she disappears for a year or two, and the next time you see her she is in national newspapers and on NBC or ABC or CBS receiving gushing compliments from interviewers and presenters. Then, in the same mainstream media, results of surveys start to appear in which men who find her and other women with muscle attractive are the majority.

This is what has happened and what is happening here.

And all because of Jodie Marsh…

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Jodie’s physique may or may not inspire one, ten, a hundred, a thousand, or ten thousand women to go to the gym because they want to feel a bit like Superwoman. She may or may not change the public’s perception of muscular women (and the men who adore them). She may or may not continue bodybuilding. But she has given the sport more mainstream coverage than ever. When Andrulla Blanchette won Miss Olympia there was absolutely no recognition in the mainstream media. Jodie Marsh finished fifth in a small UK pro-am competition, and today, the best-selling national newspaper (a tabloid, so take the word ‘news’ with a pinch of salt) has run a story that tomorrow it will have an exclusive video of Jodie Marsh naked on its website.

So, a national newspaper believes it can attract readers with a naked female bodybuilder. Let me say that again. A national newspaper believes it can attract readers with a naked female bodybuilder.

That, dear readers, is a first. And long may it continue.

Check the Tube Videos page for some of Jodie’s TV appearances, which I will put up shortly.

I’ll leave you with Jodie’s ripped abs.

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Enjoy!

Further Adventures in Celebrity Muscle

The Eye Witness News report (see Street of Shame) wasn’t just rude about Cameron Diaz‘s body.

The report also claimed that A few years ago, Madonna had people up in arms for being too “vein” so to speak. Well, it didn’t do her career much harm, and in my opinion, Madonna, whatever else you might think about her, has blazed the trail in the mainstream for ‘the buff look’. As a fan of female muscle, and someone who would like to see greater acceptance of it in the mainstream media, I certainly admire the Material Girl for that.

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But I think the most insulting comment in the report concerned Serena Williams, who, according to the report, depicts the pop-culture paradox best. She’s been described as either too muscular to be feminine or too fat for tennis. Bollocks! First of all, unlike Cameron Diaz, Madonna, and Kelly Ripa (criticised for being too ‘ripped’ – must have taken them all of 0.001 seconds to come up with that one) Serena Williams is an athlete. Secondly, despite her muscular frame, Serena is undoubtedly feminine, as the shots below illustrate.

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Moreover, the idea that Serena Williams is ‘too fat for tennis’ is just plain ridiculous. She’s had a long career and is one of the most successful female tennis players in history. And all that at a time when women’s tennis has become increasingly competitive. Fat my arse!

Get down out of that chair and call me fat again!
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Meanwhile, some of the most successful actresses in the USA are
proudly displaying their tight, toned, muscular bodies.

Jessica Biel has, among other things, a great pair of biceps
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Jamie Pressly from My Name Is Earl is another example of a buff leading lady
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And it’s not just the actresses. Britain’s own Mel B has got herself a great set of abs since she relocated across the pond, and in my opinion is much much sexier for it
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Latin singer Alejandra Guzman and Swedish actress
Lena Olin both have muscles and aren’t shy about showing them off
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Mena Suvari means business at the gym, and if a woman
with defined abs like Stacy Kiebler is good enough for
Mr Clooney, then maybe attitudes really are going to be a-changin’
and the time of the buff female celebrity is nigh…
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I can only hope that’s true!

Enjoy, and please comment below, or contact me direct at 6ft1swell@gmail.com.
Look forward to hearing from you!