I was never much one for keeping a diary, but if I had been when I first came across the subject of today’s post, I may have been moved to write something like this…
New plan. Make a lot of money (banking? arms dealer?) Buy yacht. BIG yacht. Berth yacht hot place in US (Florida?) Meet Michelle Andrea (or sim.). Invite MA onto yacht. She sunbathes topless, nude. Sail into sunset, happily ever after etc.
Yes, once upon a time, all I wanted, all I would ever want, was a big yacht and Michelle Andrea. I very much doubt I was alone. Often mentioned in ‘Most Beautiful of All Time’ discussions, Michelle still looks about 200bn better than any woman her age has a right to – see for yourself on her Facebook or Twitter. And, best of all, you can tell her all about your own ‘Me-You-Yacht’ fantasies on HerBicepsCam.
After a quick bit of mental arithmetic, I reckon if I sell up, even after solicitor’s fees and paying off the wife… I might just have enough for that great big yacht…
HANG ON MICHELLE! I’M COMING!!!
Cunningly I distract you from doing the same with 1991 Michelle…
It’s not often – despite the safety of the “Adult Content” warning on the blog – that I actually post what you’d call adult content, but today is one of those times.
REMEMBRANCE OF HOT AND HARD PAST
4. Revelation & Desire
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, you had to imagine what a female bodybuilder looked like naked. Apart from those adverts for ‘L.Scott Sales’ or the like which were on the inside back page of WPW (and even then had only tiny tiny pictures of – let’s face it – hardly the women you would have most liked to see naked) in the magazine years, it was a rare sight to see even what I know now is called an “implied topless” shot.
Muscle Elegance changed the game.
The trauma of purchasing the magazine from one of the busiest newsagent’s in the country (at the Tottenham Court Road end of Oxford St!) paled in comparison to the rewards within. There wasn’t a coy hand covering anything inside its pages. In an instant, the need to imagine had vanished. Here were female bodybuilders, and some of the top female bodybuilders at that, revealed in all their spectacular glory.
Bi-monthly my desire was satisfied. And like a kid who’s been bothering his parents for a toy for months only to tire of it quickly once it’s been bought for him, a new desire began to replace it. Wouldn’t it be great if Muscle Elegance made DVDs?
I didn’t have to wish for very long! And it’s from one of those early DVDs, Gym Heat, as I recall the first one I actually purchased, that today’s recherche comes.
It starred the ubiquitous Denise, Rhonda Lee Quaresma and Desiree Ellis. Great though Denise always was (and is, and no doubt shall always be), and despite the sizzling sex appeal the young Rhonda Lee undoubtedly had (long before she went down the Melissa Coates road of beauty-destroying cosmetic surgery), it was Desiree’s segments of the DVD that, if it had been VHS, I would have worn out.
Her beauty. Her voice, as smooth as her dark, delicious skin. Her muscles, rippling beneath as she pumps and flexes. The tease – for roughly half the clip she’s not even topless. Shoulders = power, she says. Big shoulders turn her on. Training her shoulders turns her on. It was, and for me at least, still is, utterly intoxicating. And that’s even before the naked second half, before she starts to make love to the bench…
Here are some real Christmas female muscle treats…
Well, if only this had been posted a few days earlier, I’m sure a lot of wives and girlfriends would have found themselves with a pair of bling dumbbells like VeVe’s under the Christmas tree. I know mine would! There’s always next year…
The year: 1994. At a local IFBB sanctioned bodybuilding show in the Australian state of Victoria, a 21-year-old with a prodigiously developed physique takes the stage.
Three years have passed since her first appearance at the show, when she had finished third as an 18-year-old. Since then she has won local and state titles at IFBB and NABBA contests, and finished in the top six at the Australasian Championships.
This time she wins the title of “Ms Bendigo”. Her name: Christine Envall.
July 5th 2014. Four women are still standing: Lisa Giesbrecht, Juanita Blaino, Rita Bello, and Christine. This is her third show in just over a month. She was 6th in Toronto at the end of May, and finished 3rd in Omaha the following week.
If her name is called next, she will only gain a single point from this show to add to her two from Omaha. She knows three points probably won’t be enough to qualify. She will have to compete again, in Tampa in August, and attempt to add to her points tally.
Or wait another year.
But, if another name is called next, she is guaranteed 3rd. Another two points would make a total of four. And four points would be enough. Enough to get her to Vegas.
Christine hears Juanita Blaino‘s name called in fourth…
A little over-dramatic, perhaps, but sadly I wasn’t there so I hope you’ll forgive the poetic licence. The double… got the 3rd place I needed… I think should be enough for the O!!! said Christine, sounding a little unsure on her Facebook page after the show.
It was enough. No matter what happened in the final qualifying show of the year in Tampa, no one could push Christine out of the top 5 places. She was, as they say, “Olympia bound”. For sure. Brain not comprehending yet!!! she added.
Her incredulity was understandable. Getting to the Olympia is a long road for most female bodybuilders, but Christine’s road, which began in her hometown of Bendigo back in 1991, has been longer than most. It has included three NABBA World titles, and two distinct periods of competing as an IFBB pro with an ten-year break between them, punctuated by a one-night-only return to NABBA competition in 2005.
But despite being out of the limelight for the best part of a decade, she had certainly never been forgotten by the female muscle lovin’ brethren. When FMS invited readers to select their all-time Fantasy Contest line-ups a couple of years ago, Christine comfortably made the top six. When she returned to the stage last year in Toronto, the pre-contest buzz on the forums was, predictably, all about Christine’s return.
She was, after all, the original super freaky muscle woman. She was a “growth experiment fantasy made flesh”. She was a huge, rippling female muscle wonder of the world. My own personal Christine highlights would include footage and images of her at the New York Muscle Club; the occasional (and given the sheer amount of muscle on her 5’3″ frame and the gusto with which she displayed it, inevitable) posing suit malfunctions; the Awefilms clip where she “discovers” she can flex her pecs; and, best of all, the unbelievably arousing images of her bronzed, naked and ever so slightly coy.
By common consensus, then, it was good to have her back. Of course, there were comparisons with her younger self, comparisons that were not always complimentary (shorter hair, implants) but those who know about these things – those who know more than the likes of you and me, anyway – pointed to the refinements she had made to her physique and agreed Envall v.2013 was presenting the judges a much more pleasing overall look than she had left the scene with a decade earlier.
She did three shows in 2013, her best placing 7th in Chicago. She may not have been as excitingly super freaky as before – while she’d been away, all the girls had got bigger – but up close and personal with Annie Riveccio‘s camera for Muscle Angels, or even more so with her more intimate Instagram pics – Christine was still packing plenty of freaky size and freaky vascularity for the female muscle head to get excited about.
And, better yet, Christine hadn’t come out of “retirement” just to embark on one final lap of the pro circuit. She was going to be back in 2014. 40 years old, promising myself my best years are NOT behind me. Don’t sit around re-living your glory days… Get out there and start creating new ones, she told her Instagram followers.
She began with a 6th place in Toronto. No disaster that, but no Olympia qualifying points, either. Then, the following week in Omaha, she finished 3rd…
Finally, at her fifth attempt since her return to competition, she had equalled her best previous pro placing (at the South West Pro Cup in 2002), and she had Olympia points on the board. AND she had got to meet Iris Kyle backstage! What an awesome show! she commented later. It’s not every day you get to meet Ms Olympia!
Which brings us to the events in Toronto which guaranteed that this Friday, at the age of 41, the legendary and much-loved Christine Envall will make her Olympia debut.
Less than 2 weeks till the Ms O! she wrote last week. Can’t believe the workouts I’ve been having… Must be the extra motivation of the biggest show of my LIFE. It’s an understatement to say I’m looking forward to stepping on the Olympia stage…
It’s an understatement to say she has earned it.
Good luck to you, Christine!
And to whet your collective whistles at the prospect of the original super freak on stage in Vegas in a few days, Christine’s routine from this year’s Toronto Pro show.
NB Neither this post, nor any of the links to other sites contained herein are what they call “safe for work”. Not remotely safe for work, in fact (unless, of course, you are a lighthouse keeper or something similar – you get to go hog wild with it).
I yearn after your pretty curvy body, after your super sexy legs that I would love to caress and kiss. You’re the best, you sweet woman!
FMS‘ Andrea Rosu post does bring out the poet in you readers (the above comment by “Leglover” is just one example of the passion (and vocabulary) this “sweet woman” continues to ignite). As a result, Rosu Watch was born in order to keep us all up to date with the more muscle-oriented activities this “fetish model” has been getting up to.
So, once again, we enter the alluring but VERY NSFW world of Andrea Rosu…
And first up, I Love Showing Off My Sweaty Hard Body is a new(ish) clip that is a custom-made commission (can’t help wondering if it was commissioned by an FMS reader – if so, consider our caps doffed in your general direction, sir!).
As usual with these things, it’s better to let Andrea do the describing…
I get home after a hard and long workout, and I can’t wait to peel my wet clothes off of my sweaty glistening body. [Don’t know about you, but I’m already sold.] Better yet, [how much better can it be?] I love to show off all of my hard work and how my body is strong, chiselled and sumptuous. Would you like a personal, up close show off me flexing my defined muscles, my tight abs, my thick strong thighs? [Mmmm. Let me think…] Wouldn’t you like it even better if I were naked?! [Mmmm. Probably…]
Better yet (How much better can it be? I hear you cry), Andrea has posted an “Unedited Photo Set” of a very similar scenario – sweaty, workout clothes off, show off muscles etc. – on her fantastically titled Tumblr What is Etched Onto My Eyelids.
And the best thing about this set (by TMPhoto) is the prominence it gives to the very things that attracted FMS to La Rosu in the first place, and I dare say a fair few of you readers as well: those magnificently muscled, heart-stopping LEGS of hers.
Better yet (!) it turns out she’s quite the flexible lady…
And it also turns out that if you type “rosu” into Google Translate, English to Romanian, it translates as “all my Christmases come at once”. Or it is possible that I dreamed that was true after seeing this photo set and especially the above pic for the very first time.
Better yet (really!!!) the photo set saves the best for last with Andrea, well, I guess you could say that she is (more or less) “in exactly the position you would want her”.
The FMS folder labelled Hot and Hard has been bulging like the codpiece of the Good Sir Knight Sthenolagniac whenever he did spy a fair damsel with biceps in distress – not that damsels with biceps ever got into much distress, sadly for our good knight…
Think it’s best to leave the Sir Sthenolagniac story there, and instead focus on some of the muscular beauties who have been filling the Hot and Hard folder to bulging point (and it must be said, beyond). That is, after all, why I imagine you are here.
Women like Kimberley Anthony (above), NPC Physique champ and proud owner of the kind of peak that clearly makes her want to flex and admire herself all day long. At contest time, especially. All tanned, super thick veins everywhere, and that gorgeous peak just begging to be sucked on… At least that is what I imagine she was thinking! You can tell me I’m wrong but to me she certainly seems to be puckering up ready to give her own contest-ready muscle a big wet kiss. And do you blame her?
The Hot and Hard folder always has a fair range of women within. Take, for example, Diosa Canales (below left), a Venezuelan singer/model. She may not be the most muscular woman we’ll feature today, but she certainly does it for me on the Hot front – and the good news is this is a pretty old pic of her, and as you can see for yourself here, she is most definitely in the business of keeping her abs, at least, hard, defined and oh so kissable. You might also want to check out Diosa (does her name mean what I think it means?) doing the samba for Playboy Mexico. I mean you might…
And at the Harder end of the Hot and Hard spectrum (but absolutely no less Hot), Eva Pogacik and all her big, beautiful defined muscles. For me, those sexy striated glutes are the big fat cherry on top of the icing on Eva’s female muscle (beef)cake, but I urge you to really give her a good and thorough examination all over before deciding on your own personal best bit of her beautiful Hot and Hard body.
Some women are born Hot and Hard, and some women have Hot and Hardness thrust upon them [what?! how? – ed.] but best of all are the women who achieve Hot and Hardness [oh, I see – ed.]. It took Florida resident Michelle Lewin a full five years based on the evidence above (which means the wife has about 4 years and 8 months to go before the sound of sponsors tripping over each other resonates outside the front door of our marital home. Lucky for her I’m a patient sort of guy. For a Michelle-like IFBB Pro Bikini cuerpa, wouldn’t you be patient?
And the Hot and Hard folder not only contains a wide variety of women, it also contains these women sizzling away in a wide variety of outfits and scenarios, from selfies to the beautifully-lit work of the best female muscle photographers.
The Hot and Hard folder can get awfully racy, too…
There are a couple of not so safe for work images imminent (if indeed any of this is suitable for work!), but for now Argentinian Fitness star Yanina Terragni (above) provides the hand bra – as well as the perfect abs and deliciously chunky monkey South American thighs. Yanina, full name: Yanina Terragni de Reartes, has “multiple” national titles to her name, and was the 2012 South American champ. You can see pics from her most recent outing (3rd at the 2014 Arnold Amateur) here.
And we stay in South America for more chunk – not to mention the most “exciting” leg wear I’ve seen for a while – with 23-year-old Brazilian Physique competitor Sara Bianca. You will probably want to follow Sara’s Instagram, I imagine.
So this must be the not safe for work section, I guess! This is “Misses A”, who, along with her (lucky lucky) husband, “Mister B”, post images of themselves (happily mostly her) on their Tumblr blog, “mywifetypelady”. Misses A (who says she loves to dance, travel, party and be “banged senseless”) says she was in the best shape of her life at the time these pics were taken, about a year ago. Wish I looked this way all of the time! she says, before asking their (male) followers if this is “too hard of a body for you”.
If that hasn’t made your Sunday a bit Hotter and Harder, you’re probably Mister B!
And finally, a mini-collection of Hot and Hard women by way of thanks to the mighty and currently better-than-ever PumpItUp, who, quite apart from satisfying my Hot and Hard needs on his blog, has recently once again been demonstrating his unrivalled generosity. Today’s post is dedicated to P with admiration and thanks.
Given C. Moore’s liability to be hospitalised/incarcerated for his beliefs, I feel duty bound to get in my Hall of Fame nomnominations in this period of tranquility when a speedy internet connection is readily available to me. So, on that note, viddy well my second all-time glooteal legend for your consideration: Debbie Muggli.
More precisely yet, Debbie’s NOOD GLOOTZ in their fullest glory as snapped by female muscle photo legend Bill “The F***ing King” Dobbins, a man who C. Moore most definitely doffs his cap to for his services to my good self’s self-pleasurement.
Let us start by taking a look at Debbie at her most volcanic…
You are probably thinking how great that was. Well, yes, but also NOOOOO!
Reasons as follows… 1. Cameraman apparently under orders to NOT get close-up of Debbie’s glootage. 2. Regulations re: posing suit coverage of said glootage A F***ING CRIME! Now, compare with the work of the King…
Oh, no ma’am. Bill ain’t shootin’ a single frame until all those clothes are well and truly popped onto that chair over there and every square millimetre of your crinkle-cut glootz have been lit the shi’ite out of. YES! YES! YES! THAT is the way to do it. Heed the KING method if you want to be C. Moore’s new photo champ. Seriously. The King even got her Popa-ness herself to pop her togs on the chair one time!!! But back to the point. The teenage kicks C. Moore had from Debbie’s glootiful rear under the direction of the Dobmeister can only be measured in gallons, I imagine. And if that isn’t Hall of Fame-worthy, then please do tell C. Moore what exactly is.
[editor’s note – readers’ Hall of Fame nominations to 6ft1swell@gmail.com please!]
C. Moore is AWARE the left above image isn’t REAL, but is there just to illustrate conventional rear shape. Kind of shape that’ll win you Rear of the Year – twice! (he snorted). The shape of the glootiful muscle butt is, note, way different (see right).
More important, conventional butt is ALWAYS the same shape. Hard muscle butt is all changeable depending on the pose, the heels, the flexions, etc. And therefore is, even to C. Moore with his low boredom threshold, ENDLESSLY fascinating.
Every time she moves – a NEW butt! And better still, left gloot flexed one way, right flexed another… TOTALLY DIFFERENT shapes although SAME butt! Like two for the price of one (of your favourite product). What, pray tell, is not to like?
To summarise. One-shape fits all conventional butt is DULL, samey. Shape-shifting muscle butt is INTERESTING as forever reforming into glootiful new shapes.
To be honest, I’m not sure what exactly I mean by ‘Gulty Pleasure’ or why I should consider Brooke Black (probably not her real name, see below) to be one. When I was making a list of possible posts for this Favourites Fortnight, ‘Guilty Pleasure’ is one of the ideas I came up with, and immediately I thought ‘Brooke Black’, as if I had been playing some kind of Freudian word association game or something.
Well, I’m not one to delve unnecessarily into my own subconscious, but it may have something to do with all those nasty rumours about her on the internet. For example, according to The Dirty in July 2013, Brooke will do all sorts of things for money online, including lesbian porn, so she can buy more steroids in her attempt to become a fitness competitor. She has tried to rip off her social media followers in the past two months by offering to do ‘custom vids’ for hundreds of dollars, but then never follows through and only makes excuses and tells lies to avoid being exposed. Don’t be deceived, despite the cheery, positive vibes she sends out online, this girl is very devious and manipulative behind the scenes. Ah, so that would explain all those aliases. Brooke Black was formerly Crimson Rosee, who used to go by the name of Miss DaisyXX, who was once also known as Azaria Black.
But she’s hardly the first woman to fund her bodybuilding through online activities, and if the end result is that Brooke competes, then personally I cannot wait for her to rip off a few more numpties and speed up the process. Let’s face it, if you are ordering custom vids from women like Brooke, then you can probably afford to take the two or three hundred dollar hit (and if you can’t, then you shouldn’t be ordering custom vids from women like Brooke, should you?). Whether she takes steroids or not, she knows where the weight room is, and whatever she’s doing there, it’s certainly working because Brooke is getting hotter and harder by the day.
So I guess she’s not a ‘guilty pleasure’ because of all the rumours. Perhaps it’s the implants? Occasionally I do come over all ‘muscle purist’ and tell myself the pure pec way is the only way. But that never lasts long (about as long as it takes until I look at a new picture of Brooke in fact) and when ‘the work’ has been done as well as Brooke’s has, I do find it impossible to be at all dogmatic about the issue.
Not the implants, then. Leaving only one last thing to feel guilty about – her age. At 20 she is certainly something to feel guilty about in a number of US states, but I’m in Europe and she’s in Canada, so there’s no legal reason why I should feel guilty about perving over her hot and hard body. And if I were to feel guilty about all muscular women who are inappropriately young for a man who’s just turned 40 to enjoy, then there wouldn’t have been any Shannon Courtney, any Dani Reardon, in fact any of a lot of the women we’ve enjoyed here at FMS in the past.
So no, I don’t feel guilty about Brooke being 20, either. Perhaps I think I should just delete the word ‘Guilty’ from the top of the post and just make it ‘Favourite Pleasure’. I think that would be a far better description of what Brooke means to me right now because I have been getting a whole lot of ‘pleasure’ from her recently! Pleasure from the daydreams I’ve been having since I realised that my wife (who recently decided to start weight training, see My Wife the FMG?!) is exactly the same height as Brooke (5’3″/1.60m). Pleasure from those big blue eyes and those full and juicy lips. Pleasure from that sensational body, a body that is more and more muscular, more and more defined, sexier and sexier with each new selfie. But most of all, I get so much pleasure from her obvious pleasure in muscle. Make no mistake, whatever trail of suckers/victims she is leaving in her virtual wake, Brooke Black is very much into being muscular and takes a lot of pleasure in being adored for her muscularity.
If you fancy a little ‘pleasure’ courtesy of Brooke, her Twitter is a great place to start. And if you’re feeling brave, you can join her 2,828 admirers at MyFreeCams.
Female Muscle Slave 