Swell Digs: Those Abs Selfies

Not the most specific title, but I think the illustrations speak for themselves.

They’re a niche genre so niche I’m not even sure what you call them – Abs POV selfies? Lying/Reclining Abs Selfies? – but I am, however, sure about what I like. So, whatever the agreed terminology, whatever you call them, Swell most definitely digs them.

She’s in her yoga pants, her sweats, her posing suit backstage (and when she is she is ripped for his pleasure), she’s home – in her pjs, she’s in her panties, she’s barely covered by a sheet… And she really really wants everyone to see her abs. So much so, in fact, that she just has to take a picture of herself and share it with the world (or, possibly, share it with her boyfriend who then shares it with the world!)

A few favourites (and believe me, picking just five with more WOW than most has taken no little time and effort on my part, I have been thorough) beginning with what I can only describe as a sub-niche of the niche – the Skin Pull (Isn’t My Skin Thin) POV/Lying/Reclining Selfie [this is getting ridiculous – ed.]

At four, cetainly not the clearest picture – downright blurry in fact – and certainly not the most cut or best-developed set of abs, but the more I look at it, the more I like it. Why? Well… it’s the pjs. The wife has some like them. Very like them. The more I look at this, the more attainable this actual scenario becomes. Abs like these are certainly not beyond the bounds of the (still gym-regular) wife. And she’s already got the pjs.

I don’t know the identity of the majority of the magnificent women featured today, and time for researching things like that is somewhat limited these days, but I do know the abs, the tan and the belly button decoration below belong to Serina Branch. Can’t say I can tell you much about the lovely Serina (limited time, you see), but I very much doubt that will dampen your enjoyment of those abs, that tan etc.

Ultimate POV? That’s quite a valley there, and I do like where it leads…

And finally, Sarah Varno. So tantalising, so very very sexy, so hard to type and look at the pic at the same time! And she’s put her stamp over whatever it is exactly that’s preventing this from being unable to feature on her Instagram, which saves me time because I don’t have to do an image search to identify her. What a good girl!

Happy Monday!

Merry Christmas!

IT’S CHRISTMAS!!!

OK, OK, not the most original joke, but anyway…

Here are some real Christmas female muscle treats…

Well, if only this had been posted a few days earlier, I’m sure a lot of wives and girlfriends would have found themselves with a pair of bling dumbbells like VeVe’s under the Christmas tree. I know mine would! There’s always next year…

A very Merry Christmas to all you lovely readers

FBBUK: Exciting Times with Laura Madge

It seems to me, having done my research (of course), that there is a wave of new young British female muscle talent on the cusp of international success. Yesterday, for example, we highlighted the prodigious achievements of our 23-year-old Fitness champ Emma Paveley. Readers will already be familiar with the likes of Ria Ward and Hayley Brylewski, who have already competed in the US, and Georgina McConnell, who will surely be doing the same before long. And later in the week we will be meeting an emerging talent competing in the world of NABBA.

Exciting times.

Laura Madge is another of these emerging talents. As gorgeous and muscular as any of the women in this British new wave, it could be argued that Laura is, perhaps, our most exciting prospect of all, simply because she has, uniquely among her peers, already won an international amateur competition and achieved professional status.

Her win came in Las Vegas this August at the WBFF Worlds. Laura was crowned Diva Figure Model, achieving pro status in only her second year of competition.

True, the WBFF (World Beauty Fitness & Fashion Inc.) isn’t exactly the IFBB, but all the same, she’s now entitled to go sparkly bikini to sparkly bikini with some high calibre physiques. Emily Stirling, Anne-Marie Lassere and Louise van der Nat are all top WBFF Pro Figure competitors, as is Northern Ireland’s finest, Leslie-Ann Armstrong, who became a pro after having finished runner-up to Laura in Las Vegas.

For Laura to have gone from winning her very first show as a Bodyfitness competitor – a regional UKBFF national qualifier – to winning her pro card in a touch over twelve months is impressive stuff. I am so proud of what I have achieved in a short space of time, says Laura. And FMS, at least, thinks she damn well should be.

Her success is no doubt partly down to the fact that from the age of 5 to the age of 23, when an injury ended her career, Laura was a gymnast. Her professional and personal alliance with her fiancé Scott Leeson, himself a successful WBFF Pro, and the man who has been her coach since the beginning of her muscle journey has also been crucial – and at this point I should warn fragile egos who are going to get depressed when they see the body of the man who snags a woman like Laura that Mr Leeson features prominently (and always shirtless) on her Facebook and Instagram.

Sport and training have always been a massive part of my life since such an early age, she says, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s a lifestyle. And you wouldn’t bet against Laura’s relentless energy and competitive nature taking her to the very top of the WBFF very very soon. [I’m] Already so excited about competing at the WBFF Worlds Pro Figure next year, already working hard on my weaknesses.

So I guess this is where I have to admit that the aforementioned Mr Leeson is probably a better trainer than I could ever be, because when I look at Laura, I’m afraid I don’t see any “weaknesses” at all. And by the way, he’s also a photographer, so he gets to snap his soon-to-be missus in lingerie in their down time, don’t you just hate him?!

And we leave you today with Laura’s trailer for her work with FitVids.

Enjoy! And remember no fragile egos on her Facebook or Instagram!

Hot and Hard: Cindy 750cc

I want LANDOLT!

His fist punctuated the sentence by thudding into his desk.

LANDOLT! LANDOLT! LANDOLT!

Thud. Thud. Thud.

Swell noted the veins that were appearing on his editor’s temples and forehead.

OK, JJ. We’ll do Landolt. Now breathe, relax, or we’ll be calling another ambulance.

Another ambulance. Just like the one that had taken JJ away in September when Swell had disappeared yet again to Stockholm, unable to resist the thrill of lurking in Sexy Sophie’s gym. He’d left JJ to run the blog with the FMS minions, which had proved too much for JJ’s meatballed heart. While the editor convalesced, the minions had let things slide. For weeks there’d been no new posts. No FMS.

Swell didn’t blame the minions for what had happened. JJ’s heart attack had been coming for years. Nor did he blame them for indulging in the FMS archive at the expense of writing the blog while both he and JJ had been gone.

It was his fault. He blamed himself. He owed JJ and he owed the blog. It was time to put things right. Time to leave Stockholm and Sexy Sophie behind and get on with helping JJ stay out of the hospital and get the blog back up and running.

Besides, the Landolt post was half-written already, put together in September when she’d made the Hot 100 of the German-language version of Maxim.

How wonderful that a muscular female – one of FMS’ own Hot and Hard 100 – should make a mainstream ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’ list. And not only that. Cindy had received some mainstream TV attention in her homeland. And a movie part. It was sign of the changing times, of female muscle (re)entering mainstream consciousness and looking like it was going to stay. A cause for celebration, surely.

But on the other hand, he’d found himself writing, Cindy v.2014 wasn’t quite the same Cindy we’d all fallen for in 2011. Would Maxim Deutschland Schweiz Österreich have featured her in their countdown if she had remained unenhanced?

JJ eased himself back into his chair and popped a couple of his heart pills.

Plenty of pictures. Funbags front and centre, he said, swallowing.

10th May 2013 – the incision was made in Florida, “around the areola”. 750cc saline implants were overfilled to 1,000cc “for a round and full look and to avoid rippling”. The “funbags”, as JJ called them, had been born.

Cindy’s decision. And one she had been considering for some years, apparently. And of course he wouldn’t for a moment deny her the right to do unto herself whatever she felt she needed to do. But he also remembered the Should-I-Or-Shouldn’t-I? poll she had instigated on one of the fan forums, especially so because he had cast his own vote with the majority against surgery, feeling as he did so that whatever he and his fellow female muscle fans thought, Cindy was going to go ahead and do it anyway.

Nothing preachy now, JJ warned. I don’t want any boo-hoo she’s not natural and therefore not on the FMS love list anymore bullcrap. Is that clear?

A good editor always knows what his writers are thinking, and across his desk JJ could see that Swell was most definitely deep in dangerous thoughts…

Was she still defined by her muscles or have the boobs taken over?

JJ’s fist slammed into the desk, jolting Swell out of his reverie.

THUD! CLEAR?

OK, JJ. All clear. Funbags front and centre. You got it.

Follow Cindy on Facebook

100 Biceps: Day 7

Our last post of the week, taking us from bicep #061 all the way to bicep #100, is a cavalcade of the Best of British Female Muscle Bicep Beef, from the 1980s to the present day, with old favourites, famous names and (I hope) a few British Bicep Belles who will be new to you and will prompt you to do some further investigation.

Apologies to all the marvellous muscular women who haven’t made the list, and especially to Ms “U”, Sally Ure, who I really wanted to include (amazingly it’s the ONLY missing letter) but I just couldn’t find a usable image of her flexing her guns.

AN (ALMOST) A-Z OF BRITISH BICEPS

A is for…

Lesley-Ann Armstrong (061, 062) & Kate Austin (063)

B is for…

Hayley Brylewski (064)

C is for…
Rene Campbell (065), Carolyn Cheshire (066)


Christal Cornick (067) & Lisa Cross (068)

D is for…

Donna Hartley-Wass (069, 070)

E and F are for…

Emma Sue (071) & El Fegan (072)

G is for…

Gayle Moher (073) & Georgina McConnell (074, 075)

H is for…

Jackie Hague (076) & Rosie Harte (077)

I is for…

Silvana Imbrogno (078, 079)

J and K are for…

Jodie Marsh (080) & Kimberley-Anne Jones (081)

L is for…

Joanne Lee (082, 083)

M and N are for…

Sharon Madderson (084) & Lohani Noor (085, 086)

O is for…

Tammy Oldham (087)

P is for…

Paula Bircumshaw (088) & Bernie Price (089)

Q is for…

The Queen, Andrulla Blanchette (090, 091)

R is for…

Rochdale, home of Linda Gartside (092) & Ria Ward (093)

S and T are for…

Sarah Hallett (094) & Tamar Makar (095)

V and W are for…

Kizzy Vaines (096) & Wendy McCready (097)

X is for…

Xyleese Richards (098)

Y and Z are for…

Yo Lazarov (099) & Zara Crowe (100)

Enjoy!

100 Biceps: Day 2

021, 022

A week of biceps. How could we not include Marja Lehtonen?

I always liked her legs better than her biceps, commented one of readers the last time FMS paid tribute to those legs last August. Whether you agree with our reader or not, it is probably safe to say that you do agree that, along with her massive quads, her biceps were Marja’s standout muscles. If there are better biceps in female bodybuilding, please post them so I can see them, as one forum member has put it.

Honestly, I’ve found it hard to think of many women in the same class as her in the bicep department. I came up with Christa Bauch and Klaudia Larson and then kind of ran out of ideas. Who would you have in the same “peak club” as Marja?

Whoever else you could name, and if I have offended you by forgetting your all-time bicep favourite, I apologise, but I think we can probably all agree that the biceps numbered 021 and 022 in this week’s journey to 100 are, if not the best, certainly among the best we female muscle lovers have ever had the privilege of seeing.

Although just “seeing” isn’t, of course, the full story for female muscle lovin’ brethren. And there’s something about Marja that makes even those of us who are more than a little coy about these things divulge the kind of information about their Marja-loving activities that is normally the exclusive domain of a certain Mr JL El Mariachi.

Marja is by far one of my favourite ladies to jerk off to, says one of our readers in a typically open and frank comment on blogs and forum posts about her. And when Marja makes us open up, mention of her biceps never seems to be far away. One female muscle lover’s admission that I would sooooo love to kiss and lick and suck her biceps sums up my feelings, and probably does so for a lot of Marja’s admirers.

It has occurred to me though, and not only me, that Marja’s massive peaked beauties were simply so freakish that they unbalanced her whole physique and were therefore responsible for her lack of victories as a pro. However, and even though she was probably quite frustrated by her pro career, and probably did deserve better, I think we can be confident that her one-of-a-kind (well, two-of-a-kind really) biceps will ensure she will be remembered by fans long after her contemporaries with more first-place trophies have been forgotten. A thousand years from now, muscle fans will still jerk off to Marja, one reader who responded to last August’s FMS tribute put it.

Enjoy!

Shannon Courtney: She’s Not the Messiah, She’s a Very Beautiful Female Bodybuilder

It’s easy to get carried away when talking about Shannon Courtney. I myself have been getting carried away all week. We all have our favourites, but once in a while a female bodybuilder comes along and sends just about everyone completely gaga whether you’re the IFBB’s official historian, a veteran female muscle blogger, or simply someone who cares about the sport…

She was prodigious. If the crowd was looking for a WOW factor in women’s bodybuilding at this event – here she was, at the tender age of just 21.
Steve Wennerstrom at the 2013 NPC USAs

I saw one single picture of her, a stage picture, and was so impressed I had to get her to do an interview. She is a name I expect you to hear more and more of.
Jason DBK on Promoting Real Women

This woman is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! Shannon Courtney, I believe, will completely change how people view the female bodybuilder.
‘BigFrankB’, VPX Sports forum

We’ve all gone gaga before, heralding women who were going to ‘save’ female bodybuilding, and look what happened. ‘BigFrankB’ of the above quotation had previously confidently predicted that it would be Fabiola Boulanger who was going to ‘completely change how people view the female bodybuilder’, and look what happened to her. She was no more the ‘saviour’ of the sport than Gina Davis, Cindy Phillips, Kris Murrell etc. etc.

Many of the women themselves claim their mission is to ‘alter perceptions’ of what a female bodybuilder is. To give just one example, back in 2011 FMS reported Kashma Maharaj’s goal was to be the future Ms Olympia and revolutionise this sport with a new look and attitude, encourage more women to compete and adopt the BB lifestyle and be a role model for a healthy lifestyle to all people. Shannon, though not quite as ambitious as Kashma, has said she wants to keep my look as feminine as possible [in order] to make a point [about female bodybuilders].

But mainly the source of this ‘She’s the one!’ hysteria is us, the fans. It is, without doubt, a very appealing idea that there will come a female bodybuilder who will transcend the sport. Like those awaiting the Messiah, or us English holding out for the true King to return and wield Excalibur again, we female muscle heads like to think a woman is going to come along and take female bodybuilding back towards the mainstream, back to where it was in the days of Cory Everson.

The truth, it seems to me, is that no matter how much the collective we would like it to happen, neither Shannon nor any other woman is going to achieve that. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t something special about her and that Steve Wennerstrom is wrong about her ‘WOW factor’. Shannon has, after all, not only got the body, but she’s also got the looks.

One fan reported their reaction to actually seeing her in person. I saw her in the Sacramento International Airport this morning. Totally caught me off guard. I was walking along and she was sitting facing me at some table/bar thing and it took me a few seconds and I was like, WHOA! when I realized it was Shannon. She really is gorgeous. The pics aren’t lying. I am still sitting here totally stoked on it. It was so cool seeing THE GEM of the sport right now. I don’t know how I am going to top this muscle-girl sighting.
‘Phaedreaux’ on a fan forum (the first rule of which is you do not talk about it) 

She may not be about to lead female bodybuilding out of the wilderness (though I hope I’m wrong about that), and she has put on an incredible amount of muscle in a very short time at a very young age (which is not something that usually means longevity in the sport, though again, I hope I’m wrong about that). But she is, without doubt, an absolutely stunning, radiant beauty, and while she is around, this ‘GEM’ deserves to be treasured. The likes of Shannon don’t come around very often.

https://dailymotion.com/video/x12tmoc

Enjoy!

Brazilian Thunder II: Mara Dalila, Amazon

When FMS‘ intrepid reporter arrived at 10.20 prompt for his scheduled meeting with Mara Dalila, he found the Brazilian goddess to be as punctual as she is beautiful. Mara was already waiting for him at the appointed place. He’d asked to meet her in a public place, simply for the kick of watching the reactions of passers-by, and to his delight, even though it was still fairly early in the morning, the temperature was a balmy 21ºC, and plenty of Mara’s bronzed Brazilian flesh was on show.

Amazingly, our correspondent did not fall onto his knees before Mara, but did manage to hold himself together and actually get a semblance of an interview and email it back to the FMS offices. What happened to him after speaking to Mara is less clear. She has confirmed that they finished talking and said their goodbyes. That was the last time anyone saw him. According to the Brazilian authorities he is still somewhere in the country unless he has crossed a border illegally. FMS has been asked by his family to appeal for information regarding his whereabouts, but let’s face it, he’s not the first female muscle head to have gone AWOL in Brazil.

More surprising was the difference in local temperature at the beginning and end of the interview. As noted above, at 10.20 it had been 21ºC. Half an hour later, a rise in temperature, that we can only assume was caused by Mara’s volcanically-hot presence, of 36º was apparent. By 11.00 when our reporter took his last shot of Mara, the temperature had risen to 57ºC!

She competed, as far as we can ascertain, at a national level around 2008 and 2009. And, as she told our reporter, at the time, she had considerably less male attention than she enjoys now. Guys used to be intimidated because I carried myself in a way that was less feminine, she said. But with time, I learned to become more feminine and sensual in my mannerisms. So now I have a way about me that’s muscular, strong and sexy, yet delicate and feminine. And men are VERY attracted to that.

And the more we read of the Q&A between our long-lost correspondent and the magnificent Mara, the more we, too found ourselves VERY attracted to her...

FMS: Do you enjoy posing for the camera and being sensual?

Mara: I like to pose in a sensual, but sincere manner. Not so over the top sexual. Like 70% sexy.

FMS: So what do you do for fun when you’re not training?

Mara: I like to do things like go to the movies, the theatre, or the beach. For cheat meals I like to have pizza and iced coffee. I love to read books; especially ones about criminal law. I also like art, movies, music, shoes… I’m really crazy about shoes… and lingerie.

FMS: Do you sleep in the lingerie, or is it just for your man?

Mara: Well, I sleep naked. I’d also like to work out naked… I’ve never actually tried it. And I have a rather uncommon body sensitivity. The most sensitive parts of my body are my neck, forehead, back, and feet… and when touched I just go wild!

FMS: You sound like a very sensual woman. What’s your sexual orientation?

Mara: I’m completely heterosexual. I’m not attracted to women in any way. I like all types of men.

FMS: So what kind of guys do you go for?

Mara: Elegance, maturity, and intelligence are my preferences. What’s interesting is, a muscular physique is not what attracts me to a man. It takes much more than that to get me. I like a guy who takes pride in taking care of himself and his body, but not to the point that it’s the most important thing in his life.

Muscle women, female bodybuilders in particular, are often described as ‘Amazons’. Mara, from the northern Brazilian state of Amazonas, is a living, breathing one. A real life Amazon, a modern Brazilian Amazon, strong and sexy, feminine and muscular, beautiful and powerful.

Read the real interview with Mara in full at FBBMag.com

And we leave you today with Mara’s preview clip from the same site.
Standing behind a fire door to view it is advised.

Abs Week: Just Abs

Before I started doing the blog, I used to organise pics I collected into themed folders (a little trainspotty I know, but there you are). You won’t be surprised to learn that one of the themes I returned to again and again was ‘Abs’. And while I was going through those folders to prepare for this week’s post, I found one called ‘Just Abs’. This isn’t a selection from that folder, the images today are much more recent than that, but that’s where the inspiration from today’s post came from.

Abs, the whole abs and nothing but the abs…

Not a sight you’d complain about if you were coming home to it night after night. Never mind your abs, darling, where’s my dinner? would be an odd thing to say. Hold that pose and I’ll just grab some champagne to lick off your beautiful muscles would be a much less strange reaction, don’t you agree?

I think you’re starting to burn, darling. Better get some cream on. Shall I? Meanwhile I’m thinking that I cannot wait to see her bronzed abs above her tan line. This holiday was definitely worth forking out for!

left: I think the abs may have been added to this image by a skilled hand (which rules me out). I’m not saying this either because I care if they are real or not (I don’t) or because I’m good at spotting fakes (I’m appalling) but simply because I vaguely recall getting this image from an art site rather than a photo site. Vaguely. Anyway, real or not, aren’t they pretty?

right: Now I’m 99% sure this image is real, even though the abs are bloody well UNREAL! Up the middle there are cuts that remind me of the hallmarks you see on silverware. And as far as the external obliques are concerned, well, I for one would like to see how they end up.

Another set of abs that gets me thinking about all sorts of ‘dream girlfriend’ scenarios, not least the one where I’m taking the picture (think about where I would have to be and where her head would be). Crude, I know, but hey, the ‘clean’ scenarios are not nearly as interesting.

This very lickable set of abdominal muscles belongs to Eleonora Dobrinina, who is not, as the name might suggest, a Russian, but a Canadian WBFF pro. You can follow ‘Ella’ and her abs on Twitter and Facebook if you like what you see, and believe me, she really likes showing off her abs. I LOVE the smiley face in the corner of the left-hand picture. Very sweet and simultaneously devilishly sexy.

The top rolled up a bit, and the shorts pulled down a bit. Yummy.

Again, rolled up and pulled down. This time with a tan. Therefore, yummier!

left: Serious Abs I
Could they be any more ripped, pumped and sexy?

right: Serious Abs II
A veritable abdominal anatomy lesson. If you can see anything here except skin and muscle then you have a keener eye than I do. Wow! I think this may be Yvetta Balla‘s incredible midsection, can anyone confirm or refute this? Apologies for my lack of certainty today, it’s just that looking at all these images has scrambled my brain a bit. Or at least I think it has.

And finally for today, Lena Hedblad, and what looks like what her abs looked like on the day of a contest. I’d say she was ‘contest ready’, wouldn’t you?

More amazing abs tomorrow. Enjoy!

Muscle Beauty and the Baize of the Day

Angie Salvagno

Angie seems hell-bent on inheriting Denise Masino’s mantle of being the female bodybuilder most often photographed nude, so any image of her wearing clothes is a bit of a surprise these days, three in a row a real rarity.

Strip 9-ball anyone?