À la recherche du chaude et dure perdu: Denise Hoshor

REMEMBRANCE OF HOT AND HARD PAST

7. Denise Denise

This photo should, in my opinion, be the first photo inducted into the (at the time of writing, mythical) Female Muscle Hall of Fame. Today I’m looking at it and it feels as if I’ve never noticed the veins in her forearms before. Every time I look at the photo, it seems to stimulate my imagination in a different way. It’s like I’m seeing her for the first time every time. And what a sight she is! Denise’s WPW sets are the most popular of all time, so she has a reasonable claim to be the fan’s favourite fbb ever, her body and her almost magical sex appeal fulfilling a kind of collective notion of perfection.

As far as I’m concerned, everything she did as a bodybuilder was magic, but two moments stand out. First, Denise in Hawaii, posing in a purple bikini and white heels in public. She’s in incredible shape. Huge and chiselled from head to toe, oozing feminine sex appeal. As the crowd (of men) watching her grows, the more provocative and sexier her posing gets. The second is in a tiny segment of a GMV video (can’t remember which, I bought it and threw it out so long ago now, and have never found the exact clip). She’s at an Expo, strutting through the crowd in a tight, sleeveless black dress. The GMV camera person asks her to flex, and when she does, there is stunned silence from behind the camera. She flexes one last magnificent bicep, holds the pose, and looks beyond the camera. Good? she asks, raising an eyebrow. There’s no reply. Whoever is holding that camera has been struck dumb. She smiles, and struts away.

And we leave this week of memories with a beautifully edited tribute to Denise, courtesy of jerrymail (who also brought us the “Denise in Hawaii” clip linked above). The title, Denise Hoshor Sexy, is as good a three-word summary as you will find.

Enjoy!

HOT and HARD 2015 LAST DAY OF VOTING IS TODAY

Obviously I’ll take time zones into account, and to be honest, if you are a bit late, I’ll still accept your votes (especially if you are all complimentary about the blog), but please, as soon as you can so I can start to put the posts together. Many thanks to all who have voted so far. You make the Hot and Hard 100 what it is, a thing of beauties!

Inspiration, rules and how to vote here.

À la recherche du chaude et dure perdu: Michelle Neil

REMEMBRANCE OF HOT AND HARD PAST

5. Dr. Feelgood

In a short, and sadly long lost, clip from around 2006, a Femflex (I think) crew is shooting contestants back stage. A vision of incredible, heart-stopping size and conditioning, her hair as golden as her tan, starts flexing for the camera. They ask her her name. Without skipping a pose, she tells them. Then, there’s a fairly long pause (these clips were generally quite chatty affairs). Off camera, a kind of awed silence for this amazing specimen, punctuated by assorted gasps and wows while she just keeps flexing, her muscles rippling, bulging, exploding. Finally, one of the crew speaks.

You sure are gonna be hard to keep out of the top three.

She looks over a thick, shredded shoulder at the offending crew member.

I’m gonna be hard to keep out of the top ONE, she says.

That was my introduction to the wondrous Dr. Michelle Neil, one of those women, one of those bodies, that seemed to arrive fully-formed. Even when she was still competing at regional level she had the ability to make experienced female muscle watchers turn to jelly – as this clip where Dave Palumbo claims to be interviewing her but just kind of drools intead will testify (scroll down a bit, it’s there).

Michelle seemed to know she was special, and that confidence – I don’t think it counts as arrogance if you really are the best – combined with her spectacular physique to make treasures of each and every one of her photo sets and video clips. I could have chosen one of her posing clips from her 2007 Nationals triumph, or some of her work with Awefilms. There’s that Femflex “Mini-Movie”, six minutes of Michelle’s muscles close-up and bulging out of a tight black dress, or an FTVideo webcam clip where she displays muscle control (pecs, abs, glutes) that still moves me to this day.

In the end, I plumped for a photo set by the often forgotten (and now gone) bodyelite.net with Michelle’s aptly elite body, you might say, packed into a little black dress – probably not so little on your average woman, but if ever there was a woman who was not average (and not just physically), Michelle was she.

Sadly, as I’m sure many of you already know, the light that burned twice as brightly burned only half as long, and Michelle gave up competing soon after she had won her pro card. She was the victim of massateric hypertrophy as (apparently) that freakishly overgrown jaw thing is known in medical circles, which is where, incidentally, you will find her now, still practising at her clinic in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

Perhaps the secret of her enduring appeal (apart from the presence, the confidence, the body, the insane muscle control etc.) is that her brief career keeps us ever keen. As one forum poster and Michelle devotee gushes, Michelle, you should be among the stars with your heavenly muscular body, especially that back, that face, those eyes of blue and golden hair! And then adds, there are two things I wish I had: photos of her workout routine and some topless shots! See? She left us wanting more.

Lawdy I am enjoying these posts even if no one else is!

Another day, another memory tomorrow…

THREE DAYS OF HOT and HARD VOTING LEFT!

Review last year’s list: 100 to 81, 80-61, 60-41, 40-21, 20-11 and the top 10 on FMS passim, or download PumpItUp’s Hot and Hard 100 2014 pdf.

Rules and how to vote here.

GIFs of the Week

In a bumper week for GIFs (or my discovery of them at least), it was impossible to choose just one, so, you lucky people, today we have not one, but two magnificent muscle women for your viewing pleasure, in no fewer than FIVE genius gifs.

They are taken from a new Tumblr blog, It Is What It Is. (full stop included), which, I should warn you, is most definitely not safe for work (least of all because of the Health & Safety implications), and is not exclusively a female muscle blog.

To start with, it’s Shannon Courtney. To the power of 3!

At first, she’s all smiles…

But pretty soon Shannon is gurning like a raver…

And you can feel the intensity of her effort as her huge arms (and everything else) assert their power over the iron. Grimacing yet insanely gorgeous, Shannon is oblivious to the guy who seems to have wandered into her domain by mistake, his attempt at looking casual (ie. act as if he hasn’t come to ogle the Queen of the Gym) fails miserably, the gif loop turns him into one shifty-looking mofo!

Just imagine what the view must be like from back there. The Courtney glutes snug inside her tight light blue leggings, her lats and rear delts exploding out of her vest as she curls the weight… No wonder his hands are in his pockets!

And meanwhile, in another gym on the other side of town…

Dana Capobianco is feeling rather good about her chest.

Now, I am putting these gifs in the opposite order to the original poster for good reason. Drink in the muscle (above), because the second one is all about the expression on Dana’s face – although the viewer should spend a little time looking at Dana’s top and noting that her pump has extended to, has stimulated, all parts of her chest…

That look off camera with the tongue action and the smile – I don’t know who or what she is looking at, but if I was it, I think I would just die right there – then her eyes roll back in ecstasy as she clenches her teeth, hits the pose, and ripples..

I think I need a lie-down.

Enjoy!

#my gifs on deliciousyleftarcade

Swell Digs: Passion FBB

If you are looking for the big girls, and I mean the really big girls on Tumblr these days, there’s only really one place where you’ll find them – with regular updates and without self-reverential snide comments anyway. Pdgde, or, as the homepage is entitled, Passion FBB, has just a single word in its description: Bodies.

It’s a description you can’t fault. Bodies is most certainly what you get. There are old school bodies (fans of Laura Binetti, for instance, should definitely explore the blog). There are bodies in the gym, veins popping, muscles pumped and swollen to their limits. There’s glamour, candids, comparisons, contests, selfies, scans… And a lot of it is stuff I haven’t seen elsewhere. Original stuff, rare stuff.

Recently, the blog has also featured the author’s own edited clips. Ten or twenty seconds edited out of a longer clip, they are sort of extended gifs. Super gifs, if you like. Examples: Sheila Bleck – here – and an unknown pair of thighs (huge) – here.

And the title, Passion FBB, too, is thoroughly appropriate. You can sense (well, I can sense it anyway) the author’s passion for these incredible specimens in the sheer variety and scope of big, bold and beautiful female muscle on display. I can’t get enough of it. It’s a wondrous collection he’s putting together. And, it’s also relatively recent (beginning last August) and a work in progress that, like the women it features, gets bigger and better with every passing day. I can’t recommend it highly enough.

Go explore. Go follow.

Pdgde “Passion FBB”

Svensk Muskel: Hanna Öberg

At 1.57m (a touch over 5’1″) Hanna Öberg demonstrates that good things come in small packages, or bra saker kommer i små paket as (I believe) they say in Sweden.

A former football player, Hanna started strength training in 2008. This came to be my only hobby, and football was left on the shelf after just a year, she says. I started to keep a training diary and the gym became my refuge. Then after a few years I decided I wanted to get on the diet for real and the results started to come.

At first, Hanna competed in Athletic Fitness, which in Sweden, it seems, involves rounds where the women do chin-ups, dips and a flat-out minute on the rowing machine, as well as a ‘physique’ (posing) round. But last year she decided to switch to the Bodyfitness division, admitting to feeling “super nervous” about the prospect of having to walk on the stage in heels. T-walk… OMG! Nervous is the right word. Last year it was easier. Black bikini, barefoot, and NO T-WALK!

All the heel-walking practice paid off though. At the Luciapolken (Lucia Trophy) show in Gothenburg in December, Hanna finished 2nd in her class (the shortest!).

Last Sunday, wrote Hanna during her preparation for the contest, I put an image on Instagram five weeks after the previous image. It is precisely these kinds of contrasting images that provide as much motivation as anything to just keep doing it – the early power walks, the post-workout cardio – to see how the hard work at the gym delivers results and see how my body is changing from week to week.

Why not follow Hanna on Instagram and see for yourself?

Njut!

FBBUK: Rene Goes Public (FMS Stays Private)

When was the last time female muscle fans were in the mainstream media?

As far as the UK is concerned, the last time I can recall was the rather infamous segment of Louis Theroux’s Weird Weekends when the eponymous presenter meets a few at the Jan Tana, as well as Maria Calo and her (then?) husband.

Since then, Brian Eno has said he likes a muscular woman (see FMS passim), but I really can’t remember another instance – and please to tell me if I’m wrong – where us fans of female bodybuilding have been given either airtime or column inches.

But a couple of weeks ago, FBB fans found themselves in the very mainstream UK magazine Closer as part of a story about the ever-beautiful Rene Campbell.

Strangers love my muscles and beg me to marry them! it reads on the front cover.

Inside, under the headline: Bodybuilding Mum: “Men think my muscles are sexy – strangers ask to marry me!”, we learn that Bigorexic Rene Campbell says she gets more attention from men as a bodybuilder than when she was a petite size eight.

There’s Rene, NUDE! And only her tastefully positioned legs and well-placed arm preventing that week’s Closer from having to be displayed on the topmost shelf.

Her muscles, the story continues, have made her an unlikely sex symbol with thousands of men viewing her pictures online everyday. Well, OK. I, and I dare say you, dear reader, may have been guilty of a bit of that. But there’s more…

Rene, 37, has had more than 10 marriage proposals from strangers and last Valentine’s Day received several bouquets of flowers from secret admirers. “Men tell me I’m sexy and I’ve had marriage proposals from guys all over the world.”

Really?

I’ve been writing this blog a while now, and as a result I’ve had the pleasure of contact with a number of fellow female muscle fans from both the UK and elsewhere. Now, I wouldn’t say that all of them are exactly what you’d call “normal” (who among us is?) but they are most certainly not in the business of asking Rene Campbell – or any of their favourite female bodybuilders for that matter – to marry them.

So, who the hell are these guys, these poor souls who, without any hint of irony, write forum posts like ‘If only Aleesha Young were single…’? Who are they and why do they get all the attention? Why isn’t Closer writing about professional men in their late 30s, not at all the kind of timid, skinny live-with-mother types some would paint all female muscle fans as. They’re moderately successful, they’re property-owning, educated, eloquent guys who just happen to have a thing for muscular women…

Well, I have a confession to make.

I had the opportunity to talk to a journalist from Closer and I didn’t take it.

Now, unlike the marry-me-Rene brigade, I am not deluded – well, not as deluded at least. I’m not saying it would have changed anything about the Rene story, nor that Closer would have been interested in what I have to say and published ‘my’ story instead or as well as Rene’s. If I’d made out I was a proposal maker or bouquet sender then maybe – maybe – I’d have had a little quote in there somewhere.

In fact, I procrastinated for some time after I was contacted (not by the magazine, note, but by an intermediary), and let the moment pass. Now I somewhat regret that the opportunity to represent the silent majority of female muscle fans, to paint an alternative picture of us, has gone, but, though tempted, being the spokesperson for the entire female muscle lovin’ brethren is not something I would want to be.

But anyway, about Rene.

Seems she’s on a bit of a publicity mission. Not only has she got her name (and naked body, remember) in mainstream print, but she also made an appearance, in late November, on The X-Factor (about as mainstream and prime time a TV show as you are ever going to get) as part of a backing act for one of the performances.

And Rene has starred in a music video as well. I mean, really starred.

The Closer story then (new pictures of Rene and bonus clip of her working out all pumped up aside), not really worth the read. The X-Factor appearance (aside from Rene’s own Facebook pictures of the day), not really worth bothering with.

But the music video, which was directed by Jack Newman for Bullion Productions, is definitely worth four minutes and twenty-four seconds of your time.

Oh, what a surprise – I recommended by far the least mainstream thing!

This is 6ft1swell, for FMS, staying well out of the limelight…

FBBUK: Sarah Williams @UKBFF 2014

One of the saddest things I’ve read this year is the news that Female Bodybuilding had been “phased out” of UKBFF events. No Female Bodybuilding class in the regional qualifiers, no Female Bodybuilding class at the national championships. The federation that brought you the world class muscle of Lisa Cross (2010 UKBFF champion) and Rene Campbell (2011) has turned its back on British female bodybuilders.

However, come competition time at the UKBFF British Championships recently, hope for the future of female muscle within Britain’s most important bodybuilding federation was provided by the triumph of the VERY muscular Sarah Williams.

Sarah had previously competed at the championships as a bodybuilder. In 2012, in fact, she had been runner-up to the smaller and considerably less muscular Rosanna Harte, and many had felt she’d been the victim of a judging travesty. Then, last year, having been a pre-contest favourite given her placing the year before, her appearance on stage apparently having forgotten to apply the pro tan was met with confusion, and, despite her size, she slipped down to fifth in the final placings.

Sarah, robbed at the UKBFF British in 2012

“Looking ghostly” – her words – in 2013

So Sarah got busy “sizing down” as they say, preparing to compete in Physique. It was a bit daunting at first, she says. But I made it simple like I always do, just started dieting a bit earlier, played with my diet a bit, and then just made sure my legs – I didn’t train them the same way to get them to be proportionate to my top half.

Given that she is already more successful as a Physique competitor than she ever was as a bodybuilder, it shouldn’t be too surprising that she already sounds like a true believer, that Physique was the home she had always been looking for. It [Physique posing] felt much more feminine, much more natural to me, she said after her win.

And it’s good to know that being covered in rock hard muscle – she “shredded the competition” according to Flex Online – and getting that feminine feeling are not mutually exclusive. She was, by all accounts, the clear winner from the moment she stepped on stage. The only debate, writes John Plummer, centred on whether she was too muscular for women’s physique. Some felt she was a bodybuilder by another name; others felt her physique was perfectly suited to the international stage.

Thankfully, the latter of these two views won the day among the judges, and it seems likely that the theory that Sarah will be a strong representative for the UK in European competition will soon be tested. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do, she says.

Check out Sarah’s 2012 nemesis Rosanna Harte interviewing the new champ backstage after her win. Sadly, Sarah’s fabulous body is all covered up, but if you like your muscle goddess’ voice basso profundo, listening to Sarah will more than make up for that. And all delivered in Swell’s own South London-Surrey border brogue.

Congratulations to Sarah!

Hot and Hard: Marcie Simmons IFBB Pro

Preparing for the recent NPC Nationals in Miami, Marcie Simmons had a plan. I did my research, she told RxMuscle. I looked at the people who were in the Olympia… If I come into this show looking similar, then I should be on point. It was a plan that worked. Conditioned to bits with every beautiful muscle full and defined, Marcie won both her class and the overall title, and with that, of course, her pro card.

But it’s one thing to have a plan to “look similar” to the top Physique Olympians, and quite another to actually pull it off. I mean, if it were that simple, every amateur would end up looking like Dana Linn and Juliana clones, wouldn’t they?

I think I’m a genetic freak. I gain muscle easy. I can eat candy and gain muscle! Marcie says, probably joking about that last bit. Or perhaps not. Her triumph at the Nationals came at only her third ever show, following a qualifier the month before and a single show in 2010 at which she was the only female competitor.

It all seems a bit too easy, but then again she does have fifteen years of powerlifting under her (weight) belt. She is as strong as she is sexy. She can squat an eye-watering 435lbs (197kg), and for her next trick is planning a deadlift of 500lbs (227kg) in order to break a state record in her Illinois home. I gain strength easy, she says. No surprise there, then. Suddenly her Instagram monniker “shehulk” makes perfect sense.

But if you spend a little time with Marcie on said Instagram, you may start to suspect that perhaps all that muscle and that crazy conditioning isn’t just for the benefit of the judges, or at least, it’s not only the judges who like that sort of thing. This year, if you’ve discovered a woman who revels in her muscularity more than Marcie seems to do then I would love to hear who it is, because if there is one thing guaranteed to get FMS‘ juices flowing faster than a sexy muscular woman, it’s a sexy muscular woman who wants you to know how sexy she feels with all that muscle. Just like Marcie.

Whether on stage or backstage, at the gym, at home (or indeed just about anywhere she can find a mirror to admire herself in), whether she’s in her posing suit, in her (revealing) gym togs, or getting glammed up for a night out (and when she does glam up, she makes damn sure there’s muscle on display), Marcie’s smile and Marcie’s eyes don’t lie. Doesn’t she look like she is digging the hell out of herself? Or is it just me?

I, for one, can’t wait to see Marcie presenting an even more muscular package to go with the unreal conditioning when she mixes it with the pros in 2015. Although I seriously doubt I will be enjoying it as much as Marcie will!

Next week: FBBUK on FMS

Hot and Hard: Cristina Goy Arellano

When she first came to FMS‘ attention at last year’s Arnold Classic Europe, Spanish Physique stunner Cristina Goy Arellano made quite an impression on our reporter. ‘Caliente’ or what? Swell wrote at the time. With her flowing jet black hair and (for me anyway) the best abs in her class, I think she’s just divine.

Cristina was back this year in Madrid. She took home both her class (leading a Spanish 1-2-3 with Joanna Romano 2nd and Lidia Miralpeix 3rd), and overall titles. She was even bigger and, though it didn’t seem possible, even sexier this year.

Cristina at the Arnold Classic Europe 2014

A few weeks later she was back in on stage again, representing her country at the IFBB World Fitness Championships in Montreal. No win on that occasion, didn’t look quite as full as she had in Madrid, but 2nd in her class behind Brazil’s Silvia Fraga was a more than creditable finish in her first major contest outside her native Spain.

And at the IFBB World Fitness Championships

Sadly our limited language skills mean we don’t have a lot of Cristina facts at our disposal. We know she’s based in Barcelona and runs a training business in partnership with bodyfitness competitor Ethel Heredia. We know she has a child, and her Facebook lists her status as “Seperated” so you can dare to dream…

But a lack of information has never stopped FMS from waxing lyrical about a muscle goddess before. So, while we may not know much about Cristina, we know what we like. And we DO like that flowing jet black hair, those big dark eyes and strong facial features. And we DO like those big beautiful muscles. We like them A LOT.

More Cristina on stage in Madrid

And if you like them a lot too, why not indulge yourself with Hemuvisa‘s very latest masterpiece, Women Backstage at the Arnold Classic Europe 2014? Naturally I’d thoroughly recommend watching it all, but Cristina comes in around the 4.10 mark for a solid minute and a half. There’s pumping, there’s posing, but I have to say that to be honest my absolute favourite part has to be when she’s not doing very much except standing around, just covered with glistening, rippling, mouth-watering muscle…

Enjoy!

Dani Reardon Temporarily Becomes the Most Famous Female Bodybuilder on the Planet (But Everything Seems to Be OK Now)

It is (I imagine) unlikely that news of FMS heartthrob Dani Reardon‘s arrest in Florida in the week leading up to the Olympia passed you by. If you didn’t hear about it in your own local or national media, there’s been plenty of chatter on the forums…

Temporarily, Dani became the most famous female bodybuilder in the world – or at least the English-speaking world anyway. You and I and every other man or woman interested in the sport knew who Dani was long before the 15th September, when the story broke in the USA, but by the 17th, when the story had reached Australia and New Zealand via the UK (and all points in between no doubt), more people knew Dani than Iris, Alina, Juliana, Dana Linn and all the other Olympia contestants put together.

COPS: FEMALE BODYBUILDER WENT ON RAMPAGE, KICKED IN CAR WINDSHIELD reads the headline on the Breaking News USA website – the first report of the incident, published on the afternoon of 15th September, reproduced here in full:

A female bodybuilder has been accused of going on a drunken rampage in California.

Police say 24 year old Dani Reardon (full name: Danielle Reardon) kicked in the windshield of her boyfriend’s pickup truck during a fight. Reardon reportedly reeked of alcohol and has been charged with resisting arrest and battery (domestic violence) in Orange County courts.

The police report says police received complaints that Reardon was hitting a man and screaming at him while attending a party. She was found inside a Ford F-150, kicking the dashboard and eventually the windshield.

Her live-in boyfriend Ian Schofield hard a red mark behind his left ear and on his neck and a scrape on his right knee. He told cops, “She tackled me and hit me in the face.” But he refused to press charges.

And this, essentially, with the incident correctly relocated to Florida, and less of the “rampage”, was the report that went around the online news source world.

Details about Dani and her career were added here and there, with the prize for absolutely the most bizarre detail going to the Orlando Sentinel, whose report post-dated the Breaking News USA piece by a couple of hours. Their piece informs us that according to one NPC judge, Danielle has very pretty lines [but] she needs to improve her conditioning at the next level as though the readers were all saying to themselves, “Yes, she’s in trouble, but how can she get higher placings at her contests?”

The original Breaking News article was accompanied by Dani looking more than a little dishevelled and forlorn in her mugshot (bit of a shock for a Brit that – the fact that your arrest photo can be seen by all and sundry, it would most definitely never happen here), but the main image (below) showed her all smiles and striations.

By the time the story reached New York on the morning of the 16th, there were now two images of Dani at her best to accompany that of Dani at her lowest.

And as the story sailed across the Atlantic and reached our shores here, more and more images of the gorgeous Ms Reardon were added, so by the time the Daily Mail reported the story on the night of the 16th, there were five of the best to enjoy.

And a You Tube preview clip from TanyaFitness!

On the afternoon of the 17th September, Australian online news sources had the story on their pages. And, yes, you guessed it, they now had even more pictures of Dani, and relatively little text. Newscom.au outdid everybody with SEVEN images of Dani and her beautiful bod illustrating just over 100 words about her and her arrest.

We’ve seen in the past on FMS how female bodybuilder stories need a “female bodybuilders are freaks” angle to be interesting to the wider media – how the FBB subject was “turned into a man” by taking steroids or, how her muscles make it hard/impossible to find a man, for example. But with Dani’s story, well, neither of these angles is going to work, so essentially what the story boiled down to was not so much “young female bodybuilder turns violent after drinking” but rather “really really really good-looking young female bodybuilder turns violent after drinking”.

Call me a cynic if you will, but it seems to me that this is what the reporting of Dani’s story ended up being about, and became more and more about as it travelled around the world. There was basically nothing to write about here – young woman gets drunk and does something stupid is hardly news. However, the editors weren’t going to miss the chance of putting this gorgeous young woman onto their pages. Consequently, there were more and more images and less and less text every time.

And so, for a few days at least, and while she was going through a tough time no doubt, Danielle Reardon was the most famous female bodybuilder in the world.

By the 18th September the (non-) story had ceased to be a story, and the mainstream media forgot all about Dani again, as, I imagine, did most of those who had never heard of Dani before. Meanwhile, she had received “positive vibes” from friends, fans, supporters and her family, and she seems to have made it up with her beau.

She couldn’t do much about the traffic she found herself stuck in the day before I compiled this post, but she at least used the time to take her first lot of selfies since the incident, and post them on her Instagram, which can only be good news.

And her line of gym wear got some free publicity as well.

It’s name? Kausa Rukus. HA!

Enjoy!