C. Moore Glootz’s Fun from Rear

Everybody got a favourites folder. C. Moore got his. You are now privy.

Ain’t nowhere C. Moore’s without his top butt babes. PC, tablet, AND phone. Babes like Monica. NOOD!!! On a MIRROR! And she’s got that ‘Oh C. Moore! I didn’t expect you home so SOON!’ look on her face.

Some fellas get anxious when their butt babes are ‘unknown’. Who is she? Can anyone ID pleeease? blah blah blah. Like they’re gonna find their emails or f***books or titters and get to know them or something. You cannot imagine the enormity of the f*** I do not actually give whether I KNOW butt babes names or whether I don’t. Don’t be asking me for names, addresses or star signs.

When C. Moore’s lottery numbers come up there’s gonna be a new gym in Rio. Hot butt females ONLY and C. Moore’s in charge of whether you qualify or whether you don’t. The interview looks something like this, with C. Moore off-camera doing something classed as obscene in most cultures. She here is DEFINITELY in.

C. Moore loves rear double biceps and glootz squeezed tight.

ÜBER GLOOTZ! Fanny and Gilly are two women who can make C. Moore miss his train and wake up dishevelled when the toilet attendant bangs on the door to say they are closing. Or make C. Moore realise he’s spent more than twice the length of his scheduled lunch hour doing things company policy doesn’t exactly FORBID, but frowns upon nonetheless. Hypnotic glootage ‘par excellence’.

More post-lottery win activity with Dianne Solomons perfect glootz and perfect everything in FULL noodity, beckoning C. Moore to follow her into the waves. Grim reaper take note. If you want C. Moore to follow, THIS is how it’s done.

Gentlemen, it has been a pleasure.

Heels I

If you have a need of a future topic, maybe quads and heels; a penchant of mine! wrote Aiden, FMS reader and, in June, our first guest editor (see Crossfit Week).

Let’s face it, who doesn’t have a penchant for muscular legs in heels? However lovely they may look in bare feet or flat shoes or trainers or any other kind of footwear for that matter, heels accentuate those big bad thighs and calves and hamstrings just that little bit more. In fact, an alternative title for this series of posts was (in the end, we decided, the far too long) ‘In These Shoes My Legs Look Even Better’.

And this isn’t just my pet theory. According to one fitness website, Wearing high heels isn’t just a fashion statement. High heels change your posture, causing you to activate the muscles of your legs and pelvis. As a result, high heels don’t just make you look slimmer and taller; they can also help you tone the muscles of your legs and pelvic floor. So they really do make those legs look better!

The article goes on to extol the three main virtues of the high heel. Number one is benefit to the pelvic floor muscle. High-heeled shoes cause you to tuck your pelvis in in order to counteract the affects of the forward lean on your spine. This can help to strengthen your abdominal muscles as well as the muscles of the pelvic floor. These muscles can weaken with age, childbirth, weight gain and chronic coughing. Many women perform Kegel exercises to strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor, but wearing modest high heels on a regular basis has the same effect. You rarely see muscle women wearing what you’d call ‘modest’ high heels, but anyway…

Virtue number two is improved circulation. Wearing high heels improves circulation in your legs, which can reduce swelling and the accumulation of fluids, especially in the ankles. Wearing high heels forces you to engage your leg muscles, which helps stimulate the veins in your legs to move more blood and fluids back up toward the heart. Who knew?!

And virtue number three is improved posture, especially for those with a spine that lacks enough forward curve. High-heeled shoes can have a positive effect on posture for some. Some people experience low back pain due to a deformity of the lumbar spine, in which the spine doesn’t possess enough forward curve. If your lumbar spine lacks a natural forward curve, wearing modest high heels, of about one and a half inches in height, can help relieve muscle tension and pain in the lower back. There we go with the ‘modest’ again…

FMS doesn’t just base their research on one article that says what FMS wants it to say though. Well, not usually! We found plenty of articles (all written by women incidentally) that confirmed that high heels not only show off that lovely muscle, but can also actively build it. Heels actually help build strong calf muscles. The angle of the foot causes your calf to work harder (think of it like doing heel raises all day long, you are working the same muscles), read one example. They give shape to your calf muscles and elongate the look of legs to make you appear longer and leaner, said another.

You probably didn’t need convincing that high heels were ‘good for’ muscular legs, but it is something to bear in mind the next time you find yourself shoe shopping with your better half. Just don’t expect her to look quite as good as Monica, Anne, Andrea et al once she’s got them on. Although if she keeps wearing them, you never know…

Enjoy! More heels to come before the month is out…

Thighs of the Day: Monica Mowi

I started doing Aerobics when I was young. I met a local fitness competitor who had a daughter and that inspired me. My mother never worked out and this woman looked great and had a daughter who also got involved in fitness. I thought to myself, if this woman can workout and have a daughter and look this good, that is what I want to do.

Once upon a time she was Monica Wieckowski, teenage fitness competitor from Sweden. And even then, her legs were just that little bit more developed than the rest of her.

It didn’t take long before I turned into a gym rat. By the age of 14 I already had the desire to compete. Since I was tiny back then I aimed at fitness, even though it was bodybuilding that I had a passion for. I did three fitness shows in Sweden 1999. However I was too vascular and lean, and therefore didn’t place very good.

Monica Wieckowski got a Bachelor’s and Master’s in Nutrition from the University of Stockholm and moved to the USA to do her PhD, but didn’t complete it.

Another reason I chose to move to the U.S. is people here are not nearly as judgemental as they are in Sweden. Swedish people in general are very conservative. They are very judgmental about females in bodybuilding. Bodybuilding is very looked down upon. Even supplements like Creatine are considered taboo. Here you can do whatever you want and people don’t condemn you for it.

Still, she wrote a book, in Swedish, ‘Functional Foods for Health and Energy Balance’, an academic book, not for popular consumption. And she got bigger, and became Monica Mollica, and got interested in web design to the extent that she started her own business, Rebel Design Studios.

I took a class on it while I was in school and I became very interested in it. I do not have any formal training other than that. I went out and bought a bunch of books on it and taught myself. I like to learn. You should see my apartment, it looks like a library!

(So the glasses are not just for effect! I’d always wondered about them.)

And as Monica was developing her mind, her body was also developing. She sculpted a highly-muscled, symmetrical physique. Her conditioning remained remarkably consistent. Though she never competed, her abs always seemed to be visible, as did the cuts in her legs, which remained her standout body part.

My diet is always the same. I eat a typical bodybuilding diet: chicken, broccoli, cottage cheese. I wouldn’t look this good year round if I didn’t stick to the same thing all the time. Besides, I LOVE cottage cheese and I don’t know any other way to eat. No cheat foods. When I moved from home, I always had to get my own food. I never bought junk. So I never have cravings.

Monica Mollica became Monica Mowi, her website, www.mowifit.com. She remained (and remains) unavailable for sessions. Instead, she made some wrestling clips (real, not staged) and sold them via the website to her adoring fans. She filmed her training too, as well as erotic posing clips. Her fame and adoration increased.

I’m an early riser; I usually go up around 6am and head directly to the gym. For me, I have the best workouts in the morning. Then home to eat and starting my working day; as a webmaster I’m responsible for several websites, including my own, so I do a lot of web/video work. And as a dietary consultant and writer, I also spend a significant amount of time writing and reading scientific publications.

Those women who I admire and who are professional right now are in their mid 30s. I have time to do it right. I feel no pressure to jump in to a show. Besides, I don’t believe I have to compete in order to be considered a bodybuilder. Bodybuilding is a lifestyle and it is the lifestyle I choose.

She has never competed, and yet I’ll bet every female muscle head knows who she is. She doesn’t do sessions, yet invites you to desire her body with her sensual posing. She is an intellectual, an author and a creative 21st-century businesswoman and at the same time the muscular dream-girl of thousands.

I follow my own path and I am very strong-willed. I’ve always known what I wanted and I’ve always pursued it. It doesn’t usually fit in with everyone else, but who cares?! Who wants to be like everyone else?

I think it’s fair to say there are not too many like Monica (whatever surname she’s using!). And there are not too many with thighs like those either.

Enjoy!